Hospital Hires Wolfgang Puck to Design Turkey Sandwiches for ED Lunch Trays
DALLAS, TX – DOA Hospital group in Frisco, Texas unveiled a new initiative in partnership with Wolfgang Puck to provide "therapeutic gastronomy" for ED patients at their hospitals. These turkey-based sandwiches will combine mood-improving...
Coping with Admissions: The Art of Disguise
“The 7 Stages of Grief When Faced with an Admission” struck a chord with many of our admitting medical providers out there. It is a new year and with a new year there are...
Al Qaeda Claims Responsibility For Patient Satisfaction Surveys
GUANTANAMO BAY, CUBA - A detainee with confirmed ties to Al Qaeda made claims yesterday that the group operates an American corporation designed to destroy the U.S. health care delivery system from the inside....
Dermabond Repackages for a Sexier Product
Dermabond, a skin glue widely used for surgical skin closure, has had a recent falloff in use as hospitals push cost-conscious practices. In response, Ethicon has repackaged and launched a new marketing campaign to...
Rand Paul’s Medical Credibility Lowered to Jenny McCarthy’s Level
KENTUCKY - In a shocking statement released today by Rand Paul, a well-respected Kentucky senator and ophthalmologist, he believes vaccines can lead to "mental disorders" and most should be "voluntary." In an exclusive interview...
HIPAA Loosens Up, Just Say Whatever, Whenever, Wherever the Hell You Want
WASHINGTON, DC - Doctors, nurses, and other health care practitioners nationwide are breathing a sigh of relief this morning as government officials have loosened provisions in the Health Insurance Portability and Accountability Act of...
After Super Bowl, Health Care Practitioners Ready to Diurese the Sh*t Out of Everyone
WASHINGTON, D.C. - With the completion of Super Bowl XLIX so too ends the weekend of Super Bowl parties, celebrations, and unhealthy eating. It is estimated that our nation of 300 million people is...
Study: Doc McStuffins More Evidence-Based Than Dr. Oz
ANAHEIM, CA - Public health researchers have published the results of a new study which sought to objectively measure the quality of medical advice given by two daytime television shows: Doc McStuffins and The Dr....
Stickers for Drug Seekers Program Gaining Momentum
CHARLESTON, SC - An innovative new program implemented at Charleston Clinic is successfully deterring patients suspected of having drug-seeking behavior from returning to their healthcare system, giving hope to medical providers that the war on narcotics...
ICU Accepts Patient During Change of Shift
SAN DIEGO, CA - This morning at Southern California Hospital, RN Craig Needstapee became alarmed when at seven thirty in the morning, he called the ICU to let them know about a pending admission...
