Physician DCs Bed in Order to Get Patient to Leave Hospital
DETROIT, MI - In a fit of mild rage and decisive action, local physician Dr. Enuf wrote his final order in the battle with an...
Breaking: Biologists Reclassify Millenials as Fomo Sapiens
WASHINGTON, D.C. - As a result of the known high prevalence of fear of missing out or "FOMO" among millenials, American biologists have undertaken...
Da Vinci Named TIME Magazine Robot of the Year
For the 10th consecutive year, Da Vinci, the surgery-performing automaton extraordinaire has won TIME magazine’s coveted Robot of the Year award. Many people in...
Special Counsel Mueller to Question All Med Students on Interview Trail
WASHINGTON, D.C. - In news which will make the already nerve-racking process of interviewing for residency positions for the 2018 Match that much worse,...
Mother Devastated to Learn Son’s Femur is Broken and Fractured
WILLMAR, MN - Local mother, self-proclaimed Domestic Goddess, PTA President, and Essential Oils saleswoman Hilda Larson was absolutely crushed this past week when she...
Tips: How to Read the New England Journal of Medicine
STEP 1: Grab copy of New England Journal of Medicine (NEJM) from mailbox.
STEP 2: Pretend to read through the cover contents, enough to cause...
Hero Nurse Wins the Coveted Golden Bladder Award
MOUNT CARMEL, PA - Local ER nurse Jada Adams was recently recognized for her uncanny ability to retain large amounts of urine in her...
Wow, That’s Bold: CDC Says ‘Zero People’ Will Catch the Flu This Year
ATLANTA, GA - Exuding tremendous confidence, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) has announced that it plans on pitching a no-hitter this...
In an Effort to Dissuade Students from Primary Care, Medical School Administrators Push for...
PHILADELPHIA, PA - “Far too often medical students realize too late that primary care is nightmarishly broad, poorly compensated, and bloated with paperwork,” explains...
Breaking News: Local Urologist is a Giant Dick
NASHVILLE, TN - After examining thousands upon thousands of male genitalia, area urologist Richard Ball-Sax has been called by patients, colleagues, friends, and family...