Cardiology

heavy metal

Heavy Metal Now First Line in Treatment of Symptomatic Bradycardia

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DALLAS, TX - New advanced cardiac life support (ACLS) guidelines from the American Heart Association (AHA) now recommends heavy metal as the first line...

DIY Furniture Assembly Stress Test Validated in Landmark Trial

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PERTH, WESTERN AUSTRALIA - Researchers at the Outback University Hospital have presented data from their landmark DIY-IKEA trial this week, illustrating the benefit of...
telemetry tele

Playing It Safe: Telemetry Box Placed on Tele

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BALTIMORE, MD - Suffering potentially anything from low batteries to a life-threatening cardiac arrhythmia, a hospitalist at The Hoppin' Johns Hospital in Baltimore is...

Breaking: Wandering Atrial Pacemaker Gets a New Home

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The American Journal of Borderline Interesting Cardiology published today that a wandering atrial pacemaker has finally been settled in a permanent location. Dr. Amy...
Framingham Risk Score Abacus

Framingham Heart Study Researchers Release New Risk Score Abacus

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FRAMINGHAM, MA - Boasting that it will be easier than ever to estimate the 10- and 30-year cardiovascular risk of an individual, principle investigators...
routine ECG

ECG Tech Rejoices: ECG Ordered as ‘Routine’

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DURHAM, NC - ECG (electrocardiogram) tech Joy Foreman rejoiced as she came upon a true rarity today when it comes to the world of diagnostic...

New DSM to Classify Hearing Diastolic Murmur as an Auditory Hallucination

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DUBUQUE, IA - Following a growing number of reports on the deteriorating mental health among doctors, the American Psychiatric Association decided to tackle the...

Patient Suffers “Partial” Cardiac Arrest

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BOSTON, MA—After years of seeing patients who were reported in the news media to have been found in “full cardiac arrest,” emergency physicians at...
tilt table

Breaking: Tilt Table All Crooked & Sh*t

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ATLANTA, GA - In breaking news to Gomerblog, hospitalists, cardiologists, and neurologists at Emory Healthcare have come to a rare consensus, agreeing this tilt...