Generous Administrators Upgrade Medicine Conference Room Table with Large Plywood Spool
ALBANY, NY - In a show of boundless generosity, the hospital administration has donated a large plywood spool to the internal medicine work room to replace the aging conference table. The room, which once housed...
Hospitalist Explains: Hip Fracture
Orthopedics can be complicated. Thankfully, Dr. Hal Dole, after passing his IM boards also completed a Fellowship in: Optimization, Restoration, Transition and Hyperalimentation of Organ Malfunction Emanating from Surgical Sequelae and Surprises: ORTHO-MESSS. There,...
U.S. Women’s Relay Team Elects to Use Femur, Not Baton for Handoffs
RIO DE JANEIRO, BRAZIL - For this week's upcoming track and field event, the USA Track & Field Women's 4x100m Team has announced that it has decided against using a traditional baton and, like London 2012,...
Olympic Officials Apologize for Pools Filled with Blood
RIO DE JANEIRO, BRAZIL - Rio Olympic officials have once again apologized profusely for all of the Olympic swimming pools being filled with blood this past week. Officials have concluded that someone mistakenly added...
Medical Records Censor Crucial at Removing Admission and Discharge Summaries for Transfer
MUDVILLE, TN - Jimmy Blake, MBA, MHA, Good Samaritan’s Vice President for Administrative Affairs, speaking on condition of having his full name printed at least twice, Jimmy Blake, MBA, MHA, explained the role of...
Trump Unites Us All with Plan to Build Wall Around Hospitals, Prevent Admissions
CLEVELAND, OH - In front of supporters at the Republican National Convention, Donald Trump has unified not only the Republican Party but also Americans, in particular health care providers, as he announced his plan...
American Board of Hospitalists Publishes Guidelines for Orthopaedic Imaging
Hospitalists manage extremely complex disease processes that require intense critical thinking and deep analysis to properly diagnose and treat.
Bones, however, are quite straightforward. If they hurt, they may be broken or fractured. If they...
Patients on Contact Precautions in Hospital, Now Required to Have Yellow Cart Outside of...
PHILADELPHIA, PA - A new mandate was recently passed that now requires ALL patients that were in contact precautions in the hospital, must have a yellow contact precaution cart outside of their home after...
Radiologist Misses Right Lower Lobe Pokémon on Chest X-Ray
IOWA CITY, IA – Reports from the radiology reading room at Mercy Hospital indicate that veteran radiologist, John Hoskins, completely missed a Pokémon in the right lower lobe on a routine chest X-ray earlier this...
Team to Replete the Hell Out of Patient’s Potassium
LOUISVILLE, KY - An inpatient multidisciplinary team of nurses, nurse practitioners, physician assistants, nutritionists, hospitalists, nephrologists, and cardiologists at Louisville Medical Center (LMC) has stopped everything and look forward to taking care of Room...