Hospitalists

Totally Unclear Murky Liquid Diet

Patient Put on Totally Unclear, Very Murky Liquid Diet

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AUSTIN, TX - Seeking to ruffle some feathers by going against the usual progression from NPO to clear liquids, hospitalist Roy McRoy placed his...

Fifth Pressor Discovered: ICU Stay Extended 2 Days, No Difference in Outcome

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LOS ANGELES, CA – Critical care physicians and nurses rejoiced Thursday at the news of a 5th vasopressor drug-class discovery. 5-omega-dopanephrinone or "Omnipress" is a...
palliative care hot streak 35th straight patient

On a Hot Streak, Palliative Care Makes 35th Straight Patient DNR

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LOS ANGELES, CA - Displaying once again why they are the most dominant subspecialty at Los Angeles Medical Center (LAMC) right now, Palliative Care...

Narc Madness

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It's that time of year, time to pick your favorite narcotic and see if it will make it to the final 4!  This year...

American Red Cross Creates American Brown Cross for Fecal Transplant Donations

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WASHINGTON, DC - Despite increasing clinician awareness and education as well as instituting universal gloving procedures, hospital-associated Clostridium difficile infections have continued to be...
plywood spool

Generous Administrators Upgrade Medicine Conference Room Table with Large Plywood Spool

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ALBANY, NY - In a show of boundless generosity, the hospital administration has donated a large plywood spool to the internal medicine work room to...
"Mostly useless!" credentialing process

Transfer Records Lacking Hundreds of Useless Pages

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PHILADELPHIA, PA – Dr. Rajiv Katar, a physician at Philadelphia General Hospital, was astonished on Friday to receive transfer records that included a discharge...
family meeting

Doctor Trapped In Time Vortex Re-Explaining Medical Care to Multiple Family Members

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BOCA RATON, FL - Dr. Sri-Sheshadariprativadibayankaram has been trapped in an apparent healthcare time vortex as he continues to be forced to re-explain medical care...
surgeon tired fusion

Practice Management Breakthrough: Hospitalist to Direct Admit Self to Own Service

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SALEM, MA - A major breakthrough is heralded today in the field of hospital medicine that promises to solve the eternal problem of provider...