Hospitalists

potassium

Team to Replete the Hell Out of Patient’s Potassium

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LOUISVILLE, KY - An inpatient multidisciplinary team of nurses, nurse practitioners, physician assistants, nutritionists, hospitalists, nephrologists, and cardiologists at Louisville Medical Center (LMC) has...
stressed medical student

Med Student Doing a Psych Rotation Writes Her Own Mental Status Exam

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MENTAL STATUS EXAM (MSE) - A female in her 20's looking stated age, recently changed out of sweatpants and into pajamas with a loud coffee stain.  Dark...
attending physician

Doctor Horrified to Learn That Today’s Actually Thursday, Not Friday

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NEW YORK, NY - Colleagues are watching in stunned silence as Mount Sinai Hospital hospitalist Valerie Owens holds back the tears as it hits her...
heparin bridge 85

I-85 in Atlanta is Finally Therapeutic, Heparin Bridge D/C’d

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ATLANTA, GA - Gomerblog is excited to report that I-85 in Atlanta, which collapsed 6 weeks ago for reasons that can likely be blamed...
moon placement

Placement Tips: How to Place a Patient on the Moon

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If there's something social workers and hospitalists are really good at it's placement.  But every once in a while a difficult placement comes along....
nipple twist above-the-nipples

Study: Titty Twist Better Pain Stimulus Than Sternal Rub

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MINNEAPOLIS, MN - Citing expert opinion and personal experience, the American Academy of Neurology (AAN) has put forth new recommendations on the pain stimulus...
Death Star Darth Vader

Vader Displeased with Readmissions, Delinquent Discharge Summaries

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MED-SURG UNIT, DEATH STAR MEDICAL CENTER, DEATH STAR - We have received word from the Rebel Alliance that Darth Vader has been distracted and displeased...
PA

PA Furious for Being Mistaken for Nurse, Struggles to Explain She’s Not a Physician

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CHICAGO, IL - Physician assistant (PA) Susan Jonesby was doing morning discharge planning for her employer Galen-Vaselius Orthopaedics when tragedy of unimaginable proportions ruined...

Area Doctor Obtains ‘DNR’ Tattoos At Every Central Venous Access Point After Stint at...

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BOCA RATON, FL - After briefly working at a rehab facility, traumatized area physician Dr. Sri-Sheshadariprativadibayankaram rushed to a local tattoo parlor to have "DNR"...

Nurse O.J. Simpson Can’t Ever Get a Glove to Fit

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BRENTWOOD, CA - Geez, O.J. Simpson just can't get a break!  He has been asked over and over again to go into a patient's...