Barium Enema Reveals Abnormal Presence of Barium in the Colon
NEW YORK, NY - An inpatient medical team was shocked to learn that a barium enema performed earlier today revealed an abnormal presence of barium in their patient's rectum, something no one expected.
"Good...
The Difference Between A G-Tube & The G-Spot
GomerBlog returns to help distinguish between two similar but often confused entities.
The "G" in G-tube refers to "gastric" or "gastrostomy." A G-tube is a type of feeding tube in which a tube is...
Breaking: CPR Requires Prior Authorization
WASHINGTON, D.C. - In breaking news that will infinitely complicate the already difficult process of attempting to resuscitate a patient, cardiopulmonary resuscitation (or CPR) will now require prior authorization.
The prevailing reaction to this news...
CDC: Talking About Scabies Can Give You Scabies
ATLANTA, GA - The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) has some unfortunate news for everyone: Talking about scabies can actually give you scabies.
"You know how just talking about scabies makes you want...
Sign Out: Patient Just Needs a Little TLC
ATLANTA, GA - A patient is transferring out of the medical intensive care unit today and, according to the MICU team, "just needs a little TLC" before being discharged home.
"Say no more," said hospitalist...
What Your Hospital Coffee Selection Says About You
1) The “For Patient’s Only” Coffee Machine
The feigned ‘exclusiveness’ of this particular brew forces a smug smile on the face of any resident or student saboteur who sneaks away with a morning cup. These...
ID Doc Sends ‘Thank You’ Cards for Those Interesting Consults
NEW HAVEN, CT - Taking consultative manners into another echelon, a Yale infectious diseases doctor is sending "Thank You" cards to show her appreciation for anyone who reached out to her with an interesting...
AMA Admits ‘We Are in the Pocket of Big Oxygen,’ Issues Formal Apology to...
Anti-vaxxers, conspiracy theorists, naturalists, you had it right all along. Our rampant greed as medical providers knows no bounds. You have called us out time and time again for being in the pocket of...
Hypoxemic Blue Journal Oxygenated Back to a Healthy Pink
NEW YORK, NY - The chronically-hypoxemic Blue Journal, also known as the American Journal of Respiratory and Critical Care Medicine, has finally been adequately oxygenated and has now turned into a nice, healthy pink...
New Incentivized Spirometers to Pay $50 Per Deep Breath
ATLANTA, GA – In an effort to better encourage patients to do their breathing exercises, a newly-designed incentivized spirometer will pay patients $50 per deep breath - that's right: cold, hard, cash - including...