Sunday, June 16, 2024
CrossSh*t

Meet CrossSh*t, The High-Intensity Bowel Program

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SANTA CRUZ, CA - The founders of CrossFit Greg Glassman and Lauren Jenai have announced the creation of a new strength and conditioning program to help patients improve their bowel fitness.  Dubbed CrossSh*t, it will...

Medical Student Disappears in Search of Mysterious Codman Triangle

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WASHINGTON, D.C. – Arun Matthews, a 3rd year medical student has been reported missing from his third floor library cubicle since the early hours of yesterday. According to his peers, he was last seen...
medical students

Straight-A Medical Student Eager to One Day Have Very Own Patients Who Completely Ignore...

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ST. LOUIS, MO - Expressing that there would be “no greater conceivable opportunity to help others,” top-of-her-class medical student and part-time brownnoser Isabelle Wessington says she eagerly anticipates a future career in which she,...

MS-IV Doesn’t Match After Failing to Post Board Scores on Facebook

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James Thomas, a fourth-year medical student, went unmatched this year after he failed to report his passing board scores on his Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, and LinkedIn accounts. Thomas was unable to secure a spot in...

Oh No! ZDoggMD was Attacked by a Lion on Live Stream

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LAS VEGAS, NV - Looks like Healthcare 3.0 will have to wait.  ZDoggMD was attacked by a lion on his live stream today.  ZDogg wuz droppin' hard line after hard line about the problems...
dialysis machine ATM machine

Med Student Mistakes Dialysis Machine for ATM Machine

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NASHVILLE, TN - As much as they wanted to help out third-year medical student Erin Sperling, the staff of the dialysis unit at Vanderbilt University Medical Center just didn't have the heart to tell...
fax form

Med Student Eager to Fax This Form with “All That I’ve Got”

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NASHVILLE, TN - Only hours into her first internal medicine clerkship, third-year Vanderbilt University medical student Erin Sperling is a tad bit nervous but all smiles and eager to fax this one-page form, this...
medical student adorbs CAGE questionnaire infectious enthusiasm

Cardboard Cutout of Medical Student Receives Honors in Surgery

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General Surgery is widely considered to be one of the most difficulty rotations in medical school. Many medical students strive to earn the coveted honors grade only to be bested by the grueling hours,...
beach vacation

July Interns Forcing Nurses to Take July Vacation in Record Numbers

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MILWAUKEE, WI - Migraines, elevated blood pressures, and heart attacks are just a few things nurses are trying to avoid this month as they take July vacation in record numbers to avoid or escape...

Genetics Professor Uses Students as Examples During Dysmorphology Lecture

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“As future physicians, it’s absolutely essential for you to be able to recognize features of genetic disorders in your patients,” Dr. Lena Lombardo stated, moving to a PowerPoint slide featuring a child with Down...