Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer, Remains in Critical Condition
OUTSIDE IN THE SNOW SOMEWHERE - GomerBlog is sad to report that Grandma was “found down” 3 days before Christmas during potential Santa Claus test runs as she got run over by yet another reindeer,...
Millions of Americans Battling Panic Disorder, Forgot to Move ‘Elf on the Shelf’ Variant
ATLANTA, GA - The CDC has confirmed that a new anxiety syndrome has reached epidemic levels among parents nationwide. Panic Disorder, Forgot to Move “Elf on the Shelf” Variant awakens afflicted patients in a...
Non-Physician Hospitals, The WebMD and Wikipedia Clinic, to Open in 5 Major Cities
BOSTON, MA - In a response to rampant poor patient satisfaction scores and an overall demand of patients for more autonomy in their care, a group of internet start-ups have decided to open a...
Hospital Makes Ultimate Economic Move: Quits Credentialing Doctors
In a surprising move today, Nevercare General Hospital announced that it will close its medical staff office and stop credentialing doctors.
"It only makes sense," said hospital CEO Matthew Pennypinch, MBA. "We’ve had ongoing problems for...
Hospital Administrators Think High Healthcare Costs Fixed by Hiring More Hospital Administrators
WASHINGTON, DC - CEOs of major US hospitals are breaking their silence and coming out in favor of hiring more hospital administrators. CEO of Memorial Hospital in Chicago, Tammy Watkinson, is certain the fix...
Florida Physicians Open Moving Company: Two Docs and a Box
FT. LAUDERDALE, FL - Andrew DiCampo and Berger Winsome are your typical industrious and honest physicians who set out to build their primary care practice after residency training with lofty goals of healing the...
Physical Exam Tips: The Heart
In this series, we review the physical exam, the intermediate step in a patient evaluation that ultimately leads to imaging. There are so many means by which to evaluate a patient, the best of...
Astrological Signs Predict What Kind of Patient You Are
SAN FRANCISCO, CA — An assembly of doctors who keep notes about the behavior of their patients grouped by astrological sign has released its findings. The group’s eighty-six page document includes these observations —
ARIES...
Tips: How to Defuse the Angry Patient (or at the Very Least, Make Things...
Handling the angry patient (or family member) is a very delicate situation, so we should all be grateful that we were never educated on this during medical or nursing school. At times, dealing with...
Hollywood Good Guy Matt Damon Opens Up About EBV Positivity
NEW YORK, NY - Matt Damon shocked medically illiterate TV viewers on Friday morning’s Today Show when he confirmed that he is positive for the Epstein Barr virus. It is unclear when the actor,...