Tips: How to Worsen Your Already-Terrible Bedside Manner
You may find your bedside manner is pretty terrible given how busy you are and your general frustration with humanity as a whole. If despite these things, you still feel like you’re establishing too...
Hospital Cafeteria Debuts New Tasting Menu Format
NAPA, CA - A hospital cafeteria in Napa simply called The Cafeteria has debuted a new three-hour $300 tasting menu format to supplant the more traditional, quick, self-serve approach of grabbing food and placing...
What ‘Thank You for the Interesting Consult’ Really Means, Part 1
Initial consult notes usually end with the following line: Thank you for the interesting consult. What does that really mean? In the first of a two-part series, our GomerBlog translators will help break down...
League of Pediatricians Lobbying For New ICD-10 Codes: ‘Probably a Virus’ & ‘First-Time Mother’
In light of the new ICD-10 roll out, the League of Pediatricians has come forth with a mission statement set to dispel the requirement that ridiculous presentations to the emergency department leave with real...
After Another Horrid Shift, Doctor Calls Palliative Care on Self, Goes Home with Hospice
ATLANTA, GA - For internist Karen Davenport, today’s shift was the straw that broke the camel’s back. She struggled mightily as she was asked to “suck it up” and see 935 patients, 100% of...
Patient’s Pregnancy Test Positive Despite Denying Sexual Activity; Obstetricians Baffled
A 15-lead ECG, two X-rays, an ultrasound, a full-body CT, an MRI with gadolinium, and still, a mystery.
“It’s perplexing, that’s for sure,” said Dr. Jouseph Wong, senior obstetrician. Dr. Wong and his colleagues have been...
Vader Pharmaceuticals Introduces New EpiLightsaber for Anaphylaxis
DEATH STAR II - In response to the growing prevalence of food allergies among employees of the evil Galactic Empire, Vader Pharmaceuticals have announced the development of an epinephrine autoinjector called an EpiLightsaber to...
New Blood Test Measures Serum A**hole Levels
BETHESDA, MD - Researchers at the National Institutes of Health (NIH) are giddy over a fantastic new blood test that can only be described as “amazeballs.” It is a new serum a**hole a**ay that...
New Smartphone App + Selfie Stick Allows Patients to Take Own X-Rays at Home
CUPERTINO, CA - The telemedicine boom is poised to become an explosion, as a new app allows smartphone users to take their own x-rays with the aid of a "selfie stick." The images can then...
Sweet Little Old Lady Has Impressive Vocabulary of Profanity
ATLANTA, GA - 94-year-old and 96-lb. Annabelle Rivers is as sweet and tiny as they come. She always has her makeup done right first thing in the morning, smiles from ear to ear, and...