Thursday, May 2, 2024

Primary Care

geriatric fellowship

Snoop Dogg Completes Geriatrics Fellowship

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LONG BEACH, CA - After seemingly vanishing from the public eye for over a decade, former rapper Calvin "Snoop Dogg" Broadus announced that he is now ready to practice as an officially trained geriatrician....
patient satisfaction survey

Patient Satisfaction Survey Study Halted, Mortality Increased 238% with Patient Satisfaction

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LOS ANGELES, CA - "We have to halt this study immediately!" was a warning issued by lead researcher, Dr. Hans Willford from UCLA.  "Long-term mortality rates are sky rocketing over our placebo groups." In an effort...

Telemedicine Doctor Probably Wearing Shorts, Possibly Only Boxers

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BOCA RATON, FL -- Patients have long wondered what telemedicine provider Dr. Sri-Sheshadariprativadibayankaram is wearing on the bottom half of his body during remote patient encounters via webcam, and an extensive Gomerblog investigative series...
homeopathy

Homeopath to Drug Seeker: ‘I Thought You Said Dilute It’

0
SEATTLE, WA - Friday, local drug-seeker Garrett Ashton was reportedly shocked to learn that his Dilaudid was not available for pick-up, and in fact, it had not been prescribed at all. Upon following up...
smoking lounge

Hospital Opens Smoker’s Lounge for Patients

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CHICAGO, IL - Lord Have Mercy Hospital has taken patient satisfaction to a whole new level by recently opening a “Smoker’s Lounge” for its chain smokers.  It is already gaining huge popularity among the...

Psychic Hired to Read Patients’ Minds, Doctor Visit Time Reduced

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BATON ROUGE, LA -- Do you think doctors ask weird questions—like “Do you have any problems with your kidneys?” Or ones that are hard to answer—like “How long have you had this pain?” Land-Phyll...
state of medicine

Highlights From The 2016 State of The Medicine Address

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GomerBlog highlights the major points from tonight’s State of The Medicine Address given by the President of Hospital Administrators, Mr. Cutter Salary. Hospitals now have the highest patient satisfaction in the history of healthcare...
santa claus stuck

Santa Claus In Serious Condition After Chimney Incident & Sleep Apnea Complications

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THE NORTH POLE - GomerBlog can confirm that Santa Claus is recovering, but remains in serious condition, at North Pole Community Hospital after an incident when he became wedged in a chimney at his multi-million-dollar practice...
hospital ceo salary

Doctors and Nurses Fight Back: Proposal to Link Hospital CEO Salaries to Employee Satisfaction...

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CHICAGO, IL – State senators in Illinois voted yesterday 45 to 14 in favor of a new proposal put together by physicians, nurses, and other hospital employees regarding hospital CEO pay.  Proposition 56.3 states, "Hospital...
xray smartphone app

New Smartphone App + Selfie Stick Allows Patients to Take Own X-Rays at Home

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CUPERTINO, CA - The telemedicine boom is poised to become an explosion, as a new app allows smartphone users to take their own x-rays with the aid of a "selfie stick."  The images can then...