IDSA Recommends Washing Clothes Before, After Every Patient Encounter
ARLINGTON, VA - In an aggressive effort to help control the spread of microorganisms, the Infectious Diseases Society of America (IDSA) strongly recommends health care professionals thoroughly wash their clothes before & after every...
CDC Recommends Washing Hands for 30 Minutes Before, After Each Patient Encounter
ATLANTA, GA - Stating that health care professionals can do more to prevent the spread of germs, the Centers for Disease Control & Prevention (CDC) recommends that health care professionals wash their hands for...
Millions of Millennials Hospitalized in ICUs with White Claw Withdrawal
CHICAGO, IL - A nationwide shortage of White Claw Hard Seltzer has led to an unprecedented surge in hospitalizations, with millions of millennials being admitted to intensive care units (ICUs) with life-threatening White Claw...
Surgeon General Turfs Public Health to Hospitalist General
WASHINGTON, D.C. - Citing the complex medical comorbidity of our country's citizens, Surgeon General Jerome Adams has turfed the public health to Hospitalist General Alice Stevens.
"There is no surgical intervention indicated at this time,...
Program Offers Bone Marrow Transplant for Anti-Vaxxers
A new program funded by a group of private donors will allow any healthy person who is staunchly opposed to vaccinations to undergo a Bone Marrow Transplant (BMT). Following the transplant, patients would have...
CDC: Talking About Scabies Can Give You Scabies
ATLANTA, GA - The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) has some unfortunate news for everyone: Talking about scabies can actually give you scabies.
"You know how just talking about scabies makes you want...
SEAL Team Six Assigned New Mission to Combat Burnout
VIRGINIA BEACH, VA - In a sign health care has truly reached crisis proportions, Gomerblog reports that SEAL Team Six has officially been tasked with their toughest assignment in its 39-year history: combating burnout.
"We...
Mother of Local Teen Decides to Go For It: Make Physical Exam as Uncomfortable...
WESTCHESTER, NY - Local mother and divorcee Tiffany Smith accompanied her 18 year old daughter Kaycie Smith into the exam room, clinic staff confirmed. Kaycie, who currently lives with her father in
Armonk, stated the...
Gastroenterologists Recommend Daily Screening Colonoscopy
BETHESDA, MD - In an effort to improve colorectal cancer screening in the United States, where it is the second leading cause of cancer death, the American College of Gastroenterology (ACG) is ramping things...
What, No Dilaudid?! Guests Leave Super Bowl Party AMA
ATLANTA, GA - Stating that the party spread of salads, sandwiches, guacamole, cheese and pepperoni pizza, wings, burgers, hot dogs, and fried chicken simply isn't enough, thousands of guests in the Atlanta area have...