maximal surgery

Surgeon Recommends Maximally-Invasive Surgery

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KEARNEY, NE - Dr. Billy Ali Colic, a surgeon at Kind Samaritan Hospital, pulled no punches and hid no excitement when he recommended a wide-open Colo-pancreatico-prosto-aoritco-doudenostomy-ostomy for his patient John Dice this morning. “Laparoscopic, endoscopic,...
fellowship

ACGME Approves New Consultology Fellowship

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Chicago, I.L. In this long-due announcement, the ACGME has approved a new Consultology Fellowship. While Consultology has been informally practiced by hospitalists for several years, rigorous training in this emerging field has been lacking....

Female Surgery Resident Reliant on VA Harassment for Affirmation

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LOCAL VA HOSPITAL - In what has been deemed a natural progression of surgical training, local resident Sara Lowell now counts on her interactions with patient George Franks, a 65-year-old vasculopath and VA legend, as her...
slaps monitor v-fib

Medicine Resident Slaps Monitor Hoping V-Fib is Just Artifact

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ATLANTA, GA - Implementing an often overlooked early step in the ACLS algorithm, third-year Emory University internal medicine resident Carrie-Ann Winslow slapped the monitor at the patient's bedside in the slim chance that the ventricular fibrillation (v-fib) is...

Nurse Enters the Cave of Wonders, Finds Infamous Resident Genie

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On her Saturday shift, Anne looked unusually ecstatic.  This is the same Anne who usually has a frown on her face and is looking for reasons to tear the medical students and residents apart....

Disgusting! This Patient’s Cranial Nerves Were Grossly Intact

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When you didn't think medicine could deliver any more heebie-jeebies, this clinic just received a large, overnight shipment of them.  Last week, per the medical chart, Dr. Alex Krane saw someone that had 11...

Here We Go Again, Pathology Was Left Out of Another Article

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GOMERBLOG HQ - Whoops.  We really screwed up this time: Pathology was left out of another Gomerblog article. To be specific, THIS ARTICLE. We sat down to report on pathology and just forgot about...
ventilator

Ventilator More Effective When Connected to Endotracheal Tube

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KEARNEY, NE - It was a close call for Kind Humanitarian Hospital's Dr. Dan G. Ross of when his ventilated patient started to desaturate.  The brand-new intern was left alone with the critically-ill patient...

The Michael Jordan of Interns Retires After Curing His 6th Patient

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CLEVELAND, OH - We all know Dr. Mark Jeffries by now.  He is the Michael Jordan of interns.  Setting records by storm, Jeffries has set the medical world on fire.  As an intern at the Cleveland...