Friday, September 18, 2020

Orthopedics

Super Mario 27 Bones

Breaking Bricks No More: Mario Shatters All 27 Bones in Left Hand

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WORLD 3-2 - It looks like the cumulative lifetime effect of punching bricks has finally caught up to our favorite plumber: In an attempt to find 1-Up mushrooms and bank some extra lives, Super...
aisle 9 home depot

Breaking: Orthopods Spotted in Aisle 9 of Home Depot

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FORT MYERS, FL - In breaking news here at Gomerblog, a herd of orthopods has just been spotted in aisle 9 of Home Depot. The sight is breathtaking. It appears...

Surgeon Passes Out Following OR Fentanyl Exposure, Remainder of OR Staff Unaffected

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BOSTON, MA – 94 minutes into what was a routine total knee arthroplasty, Dr. James Nairbear suddenly felt lightheaded and fell backwards landing in the arms of OR Nurse D’nica Gurley. ...

Orthopaedic Surgeon Pays $400,000 to Prevent Son From Matching Into Ophthalmology Residency

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BOSTON, MA - Inspired by the recent college admissions cheating scandal, local Orthopaedic Surgeon Brock Hammersley took matters into his own hands when his son ranked only Ophthalmology residencies in the ACGME Match. “I couldn’t...

Introducing the ‘Dude-Vinci,’ The 1st Robot for Orthopedic Surgery

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DAYTON, OH - A cutting-edge surgical robot has been approved by the FDA and purchased for use in the orthopedic suite at a local hospital. The Dude-Vinci is perfectly calibrated to assist any orthopedic surgeon....
sheep

Forget Sheep: Orthopod Counts Bones to Fall Asleep Each Night

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MUSCLE SHOALS, AL - Calling the domesticated ruminant animal too soft and fluffy for her liking, area orthopedic surgeon Dr. Tracey Hammerhead prefers counting bones to sheep to help her fall asleep each and...

Orthopod Appalled to Learn About Calcium Channel Blockers

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GREEN BAY, WI - Local Orthopaedic surgeon Stan Deverance was at a hospital wide grand rounds last week when he uncovered a nearly unspeakable evil.  The internist giving the talk was recommending Calcium channel...
orthopedic surgeon ortho spelling bee WBAT sticks & stones

Nice Work, Brah: Ortho Note Mentions Horizontal Nystagmus

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BOSTON, MA - Hospitalists, neurologists, and neurosurgeons at Massachusetts Specific Hospital in Boston were dumbfounded this morning when they found that a note by orthopaedic surgeon Brock Hammersley mentioned the finding of horizontal nystagmus. "What...

Boxing Day Returns: Admitting Services May Return 1 Unwanted Holiday Admission to the ER

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HAMILTON, ONTARIO, CANADA - McMaster University has been at the forefront of Canadian Medical research progress (pronounced pro-gress north of the border) since shortly after its founding in 1887. Now, the Marauders are transitioning into...
PVC piping

Santa Gives Good Ortho Intern 1000 Feet of PVC Piping for Christmas

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PHILADELPHIA, PA - Boy, do we have a true feel-good story for you this Christmas.  Orthopedic intern, Bryce Bonebreaker, learned he did in fact make Santa's Good Orthopod list when he unwrapped all his...
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