Sunday, May 5, 2024

Orthopedics

U.S. Women’s Relay Team Elects to Use Femur, Not Baton for Handoffs

0
RIO DE JANEIRO, BRAZIL - For this week's upcoming track and field event, the USA Track & Field Women's 4x100m Team has announced that it has decided against using a traditional baton and, like London 2012,...

Orthopedic Surgeon Floods OR During Shoulder Arthroscopy

0
OMAHA, NE - Officials from Hamton Hospital may have to implement new policies after an orthopedic surgeon inadvertently flooded out the operating room during a shoulder arthroscopy. “He kept asking for more irrigation or commenting...
orthopedic

New Orthopedic Surgery Simulator a Warehouse Filled with Tree Stumps, Blunt Ax

0
PORTLAND, OR - Oregon Health and Sciences University recently unveiled their innovative new orthopedic surgery simulator, which consists of a large industrial warehouse filled with hundreds of tree stumps and a single blunt ax. “This...

Fancy Medical Terms and What They Really Mean

0
Nurses and doctors use fancy words to communicate and sound smart before patients, families and each other. Having spent most of his adult life in the hospital, Livin La Vida Locum, M.D. shares the...
sheep

Forget Sheep: Orthopod Counts Bones to Fall Asleep Each Night

0
MUSCLE SHOALS, AL - Calling the domesticated ruminant animal too soft and fluffy for her liking, area orthopedic surgeon Dr. Tracey Hammerhead prefers counting bones to sheep to help her fall asleep each and...

Orthopaedic Surgeons Declared Strongest Species on Earth

0
GABORONE, BOTSWANA - Inspired by the 2018 World’s Strongest Man competition, local orthopaedic surgeon Jamies Baylee started pondering if there exists a species of animal stronger than the Staff Orthopedic Surgeon. The following are the...
pina coladas

Ortho Likes Pina Coladas, Getting Caught in the Rain

0
SANTA MONICA, CA - In a stunning development that has taken place just over the past few minutes, Gomerblog has learned that Ortho likes pina coladas.  "Yes, I like pina coladas," orthopedic surgeon Brock...
left hand

New Ortho Sub-Subspecialty Left Hand Fellowship Announced!

0
COLLEGE PARK, MD - Fresh out of the ABMS office, it has been confirmed, Dr. Geaux Negolfing has applied and been approved to start his new fellowship.  The world’s first declared sub-subspecialist in left...

Orthopedic Surgeon Accidentally Intubates Patient in OR

0
MANSFIELD, OH - In a bizarre reversal of fate, a local orthopaedic surgeon accidentally inserted an endotracheal tube into a patient’s airway while draping out the patient for a hardware removal. Dr. Aricks Lunchbocks was...
applauding doctors

Ortho Writes Perfect SOAP Note, First No-Worder This Year

50
LOS ANGELES, CA - Cliff Kershaw of UCLA Medical Center etched his way into the record books early this morning as he wrote the fiscal year’s first perfect note. The southpaw orthopedic surgeon not...