• 410
    Shares

ASGARD – According to witnesses, Thor, Norse God of Thunder, was recently spotted at a local hospital crushing patellar tendons with his mighty new reflex hammer.  Wielding a black, triangular rubber mallet sitting atop a 6-foot-tall steel frame, Thor has been busy obliterating every patellar tendon he can find.

Hospital administrators are baffled as to how nobody noticed a 7-foot Nordic demigod with flowing blonde hair and piercing blue eyes clad in leather and gold-plated armor demolishing every tendon he can find throughout the hospital.

“Maybe he was wearing a white coat,” postulated Steve Sargent, hospital administrator and witness to the carnage.  “The strange thing is that Thor recorded the reflexes on every tendon he annihilated into the medical record,” continued Sargent.  “They were all listed as 2+.”

According to hospital reports, the invincible Asgardian moved from room to room with supersonic speed, twirling his reflex hammer faster than the speed of light before bringing it down onto every patellar tendon he could find with earth-shattering force.  Thor could be heard bellowing “FOR ASGARD!!” with each tendon thrashing.

At press time, witnesses report Thor had moved on to conquering Achilles tendons.

  • 410
    Shares
Dr. Glaucomflecken
Following a successful career as a doctor impersonator, Dr. Glaucomflecken decided to attend a real, accredited medical school and residency program. Now he spends his time treating eyeballs, occasionally forgetting that they belong to an actual human body. Dr. Glaucomflecken specializes in knowing where to look when talking to somebody with a lazy eye. He started writing for GomerBlog after being told to “publish or perish.” Follow me on Twitter @DGlaucomflecken
WordPress › Error

There has been a critical error on this website.

Learn more about troubleshooting WordPress.