This is a continuation from our first post: What “Thank You for the Interesting Consult” Really Means, Part 1. Let’s go!
Nutrition
Translation: Like it or not, I’m recommending a multivitamin.
OB/GYN
Translation: Not another pelvic exam for today?! Sheesh!
Occupational Therapy
Translation: You know PT and OT are different, right?
Ophthalmology
Translation: Please learn to spell “ophthalmology;” it has two H’s.
Orthopedic Surgery
Translation: (1) I don’t have a case or clinic today or (2) Get some imaging next time, damn it! Chances are it’s the first translation. Orthopedic surgeons never use real words in their note, let alone full sentences. If real words are used instead of terms like WBAT, that orthopod probably isn’t busy.
Otolaryngology
Translation: People really need to stop picking their noses.
Palliative Care
Translation: Should’ve consulted us six months ago.
Pastoral Care
Translation: I’ll do what I can to summon divine intervention.
Pathology
Translation: Inadequate sample.
Pediatrics
Translation: You know this kid’s parents are crazy, right?
Pharmacokinetics
Translation: How on earth are you allowed to write prescriptions for patients?
Physical Therapy
Translation: Why did you consult us? This person’s been bedbound for a decade!
Plastic Surgery
Translation: Yeah, we won’t be able to fix this one.
Psychology and Psychiatry
Translation: If you think this guy’s crazy, boy, do I have some stories for you.
Pulmonology
Translation: This could be interesting, but let’s treat with steroids anyway.
Radiology
Translation: Bet you didn’t expect these incidental findings.
Rheumatology
Translation: Hate to disappoint you, but this is just osteoarthritis.
Social Services
Translation: Trainwreck.
Speech Therapy
Translation: This patient won’t pass the modified barium swallow!
Urology
Translation: Genitals haunt me in my sleep.
Vascular Surgery
Translation: Wow, I didn’t know an aorta could do that!
Ben Mayo ortho lolll wbat
Ben Mayo ortho lolll wbat
Varma Pen
Yep. Guilty on the Pharmacokinetics translation.
Yes! Do it!!!!
You’ve got Pastoral Care and Pharmacokinetics and still no mention of Preventive Medicine or Public Health???? Okay. Okay. I’ll write a prev med article for you. Stop begging
Intensive Care 2 options:
1. You should have involved us hours ago;
2. This referral should have gone to palliative care, they’re f**ked.
Hahahaha “Trainwreck”
Hahahaha “Trainwreck”
Radiology could not rule out anything and clinical correlation is recommended
Radiology could not rule out anything and clinical correlation is recommended
gyn should be “How come no one knows what a period is?”
Wrong… plastic surgeon is saying ” we are not a wound care service”
Or: “yes, you can diagnose menstruation as well as I can”
Peds… All about the parents :)
Gyn-she doesn’t have PID. she doesn’t even have any pelvic organs!
Love the OT and PT ones.
Lol train wreck so true!
Palliative Care is spot on!
rheum is “no, this ISN’T lupus”
Rheumatology is spot on. Lol
I love seeing “return if needed” on ER discharge paperwork. IF NEEDED should be capitalized and underlined
I never understood the q4 nebs. prn for sob/wheezing sure but does somebody really need a parasympathetic nervous system stimulant at 0300?
Bahahhahahaahahahhaahahhahhaahahahahahauahaahahahahahahauauauhaua!
Ik this is satire but lr would play hell on the kidneys if run that long and if the patient has chf that md graduated bottom of his class and lasix does what it was made to do but routine lasix requires a chem8 to be drawn usually twice a week to monitor k aldactone makes life so much easier but it doesnt work as well as lasix
Duoneb Q4…it cures everything
Translation: sign off the next day.
we will “follow closely”
Very very pleasant.
No, nutrition would say, just order some boost or ensure. Next!
Love it. I’m tired of sending these!
Exactly! Also discontinue the LR that has been running at 150cc/hr since surgery a week ago.
Melissa Stalling ortho and path!!!! Hahaha.
Pulmonary should be, “Let me just spell Lasix for you.”