Covid-19 Prevention: New AICD Delivers Shock Whenever You Touch Your Face
VOLTAGE, OR—In what can only be described as “shocking” news, the FDA recently approved a novel implantable cardioverter-defibrillator that not only senses dangerous arrhythmias...
Members of Congress may be in permanent cardiac arrest, study find
Washington (DC). Research published today revealed that many of our politicians may be essentially dead, or close to dead. The study used data mining...
Framingham Heart Study Researchers Release New Risk Score Abacus
FRAMINGHAM, MA - Boasting that it will be easier than ever to estimate the 10- and 30-year cardiovascular risk of an individual, principle investigators...
Canadian Provinces Presenting to the Emergency Room
British Columbia: 43-year-old female worried she accidentally overdosed on Gingko baba when she took two times the amount on her way to yoga. Feeling...
Dr. Clinton Gets Away with Wearing Pantsuit in OR
WASHINGTON, D.C. - A shocking story coming from Bethesda Medical Center, where Hillary Clinton has been wearing a pantsuit in the operating room. She refuses...
Update: AHA Addends Recommended 90-Minute Door-to-Balloon Time for MI to Allow Cath Team 3...
SAN DIEGO, CA—For the cardiac catheterization team at San Diego General Hospital, compliance with the 90-minute door-to-balloon time metric for STEMI patients is a...
Elephant Complains of Chest Pain ‘Like a Human Sitting on My Chest’
NEW YORK, NY - At approximately 6:00 AM this morning, a local elephant named Eli the Elephant developed excruciating ten out of ten chest...
Coumadin Clinic Tired of Drawing Blood, Starts to Just Ballpark INR Results
JACKSONVILLE, MS - GomerBlog investigated a Coumadin clinic in Jacksonville and revealed a dark side to their daily operations. The Jacksonville Coumadin Clinic was...
No Matter the Symptom, Local Cardiologist Pretty Convinced It’s an Anginal Equivalent
ATLANTA, GA - No matter the symptom, no matter the severity, and no matter the location, onset, or duration, local cardiologist Willie McCray is...
Product Review: Quaker State Ultimate Durability Full Synthetic Canola Oil
Pros / Quaker State's new product provides excellent protection against the formation of sludge, plaque, and other harmful deposits, improving viscosity in all weather conditions.
Cons /...