Headlines from the Week in Medical News
ROCHESTER, NY - After two-year grant-writing process, associate professor of medicine’s submission to JAMA’s “funny cartoon caption contest” fails peer review process.
AKRON, OH - Patient with Kluver-Bucy Syndrome made NPO except for meals.
BOSTON, MA...
Breaking: Tilt Table All Crooked & Sh*t
ATLANTA, GA - In breaking news to Gomerblog, hospitalists, cardiologists, and neurologists at Emory Healthcare have come to a rare consensus, agreeing this tilt table is all crooked & sh*t.
"Look at it, just look...
Cardiologist Names Newborn Daughter Lub Dub
ATLANTA, GA - After much deliberation but with much excitement, cardiologist Randy Duckett has announced that he and his wife have chosen a name for their beautiful newborn 6 lb. 12 oz. daughter: Lub...
Physician Recruitment Ad Statements and What They Really Mean
Ad text
Actual meaning
Established medical center is a state of the art, modern, newly renovated hospital
The MRI works 12 hours out of the week, and the cost of that new fountain in the lobby will...
BREAKING: Kim Jong-un Not Quite as Dead as His Surgeon Will Soon Be
Pyongyang, North Korea - Reports have been coming out that North Korean Supreme Leader Kim Jong-un's health is in grave danger after a cardiac procedure. Allegedly, the anus-free Dictator allegedly had a cardiac procedure...
Chaos as ICU Attending Touches Defibrillator
LEBANON, IN – An internal mass casualty incident was declared at Saint Sebastian Hospital on Thursday morning after an ICU physician inadvertently discharged a defibrillator, resulting in six wounded. A respiratory therapist, two ICU...
ECG Tech Rejoices: ECG Ordered as ‘Routine’
DURHAM, NC - ECG (electrocardiogram) tech Joy Foreman rejoiced as she came upon a true rarity today when it comes to the world of diagnostic cardiac tests: an ECG that was ordered as routine.
“Never in...
Team to Replete the Hell Out of Patient’s Potassium
LOUISVILLE, KY - An inpatient multidisciplinary team of nurses, nurse practitioners, physician assistants, nutritionists, hospitalists, nephrologists, and cardiologists at Louisville Medical Center (LMC) has stopped everything and look forward to taking care of Room...
George Bush: I Misunderestimated the Weapon of Mass Destruction in My Coronaries: Atherosclerosis
DALLAS, TX - George W. Bush, the 43rd president of the United States, had a coronary artery stent placed on Wednesday. Dubbya said he went to the doctor with chest pain, but blamed it...