Stryker Surgical Snacks, The Perfect OR Treat
DALLAS, TX – Stryker Surgical just released a new line bound to please every orthopedic surgeon, anesthesiologist, CRNA, OR nurse, surgical tech, and yes, even make the general surgeons happy too. They’re called Stryker...
Secretary Tom Price Deploys Stryker Drone to Mass Vaccinate America for Flu
WASHINGTON, D.C. – Fresh off ex-fixing the Washington Monument, new Secretary of Health and Human Services and orthopedic surgeon Tom Price has turned his attention to preventive health. Just yesterday, Price deployed a brand...
Avagard Widely Replaced by Gym Chalk in Ortho Surgery Centers
FREEHOLD, NJ - Avagard, the surgical hand antiseptic is now being replaced in many orthopedic surgery centers across the globe. The replacement? Large bowls of gym chalk, magnesium carbonate, seated next to the operating...
Orthopaedic Surgeon Admits to Inventing CrossFit to Finance College for His Children
LOS ANGELES, CA – After his twin daughters were both accepted to Ivy League colleges starting in 2000 and already paying for his son’s med school tuition and gym membership, local orthopaedic surgeon Brock...
Tom Brady Suffers Congestive Arm Failure
Foxborough, MA - In a shocking development that could spell the end of his storied football career, Tom Brady developed acute congestive arm failure (CAF) in the first quarter of the New England Patriots...
College of Orthopaedic Surgeons Proposes New Guidelines for Inpatient Consultation
VAIL, CO - At this year’s meeting of the College of Orthopedic Surgery, new guidelines were proposed for hospitalists and emergency physicians to review prior to ordering inpatient consultation.
“We have recently seen an increase...
Developmental Milestones for a Baby Orthopod
As a proud new parent, you may be distracted by everything it takes to be successful. However, if you pay enough attention to your baby's developmental milestones, you can tell if he or she...
Study: Hopscotch Leading Cause of Hip Fractures in Elderly
BOSTON, MA - A byproduct of the children's game that has become an inexplicable epidemic among our baby boomers, a study newly published in the New England Journal of Bones has once again named...
Conversation Starters While Scrubbing For Surgery with Your Attending
Scrubbing before surgery can be an awkward time for residents who have to spend up to 5 uninterrupted minutes standing next to an attending while you both wash your hands. Casual conversation can be...
Mid-Case and Looking for a Workout, Orthopod Asks Scrub Tech for Dumbbells
LOS ANGELES, CA - Realizing that this little-old lady's hip replacement wasn't giving him the adequate workout and reps he needed, orthopedic surgeon Brock Hammersley asked his scrub tech midway through the case for...