An Orthopedic Surgeon Explains: Diastolic Heart Failure
Brosefs and lady folk:
It seems that every now and then we have to deal with something other than the bones. As you can imagine, this is sub-optimal at best. Because bones. Anywhoo, I've been...
Orthopod Bewildered by Internist with Bigger Biceps
LOS ANGELES, CA - "How can it be??!!" wondered orthopedic surgeon Thor Hammersley, scratching his noggin with his oversized mitts. "Thor don't understand!" You see, Hammersley has just spotted a true anomaly walking the...
Too Much Pressure: Masseuse Breaks All 206 Bones in Client’s Body
OKLAHOMA CITY, OK - Despite the request to use only light-to-medium pressure during a one hour deep tissue massage, masseuse Lindsey Wang has gone overboard and accidentally broken all 206 bones in her client Gabby...
Rare Patient Asks Only for Tylenol for Pain, Receives Standing Ovation
ATLANTA, GA - Chelsea Mason is one amazing woman. Only 12 hours removed from a knee replacement surgery for severe osteoarthritis, Mason has left her medical team at Emory University completely flabbergasted by stating...
Hospitalist Explains: Hip Fracture
Orthopedics can be complicated. Thankfully, Dr. Hal Dole, after passing his IM boards also completed a Fellowship in: Optimization, Restoration, Transition and Hyperalimentation of Organ Malfunction Emanating from Surgical Sequelae and Surprises: ORTHO-MESSS. There,...
Breaking News: Orthopod Places Ex Fix on Ex Fix
SEATTLE, WA - Questioning if the external fixation device (or ex fix) placed on a patient’s leg is stable enough for the job, Harborview Medical Center orthopod Brock Hammersley made history today by becoming the...
AAOS: Osteoporosis Renamed Bone Failure
“Bone failure. It’s the new hotness. Now let’s start taking it seriously!”
Orthopedic Applicant Tears Phonebook in Half to Seal Interview
NEW YORK, NY - By the time Dr. Johnny "The Hammer" Utah, a fourth-year orthopedic resident at SUNY, Empire State, was applying for his sports fellowship he considered himself a bit of an expert...
Orthopod Uses Patient’s Femurs to Play the Drums
BIRMINGHAM, AL - Orthopedic surgeon Jake Crusher came home today supremely excited: it was his day off and he just bought a brand new drum kit, something that he's been dreaming of getting for...
5.8 Million Packers Fans Sign Up to Donate Their Clavicles to Aaron Rodgers
GREEN BAY, WI - After Aaron Rodgers went down in Sunday's game against the Minnesota Vikings (0 Super Bowl trophies in team history), Packers (5 Super Bowl trophies in team history) head physician Dr. Pat...