Orthopedics

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Orthopods Reclassified as Bromo Sapiens

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WASHINGTON, D.C. - In their first update in nearly two years, the American Taxonomy Society (ATS) has placed arthropods under their own genus, formally...

Medical Ethics: Magician Orthopedist Elects Not to Saw Patient in Half Due to Conflict...

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LAS VEGAS, NV - In an apparent conflict of interest, orthopedist and amateur magician, Dr. Felipe Ross, elected not to saw his patient in...
bone day skeleton bone to pick

Orthopedic Surgeon General Declares Today “National Bone Day”

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WASHINGTON, D.C. - Orthopedic Surgeon General of the United States Dr. Brock Hammersley has announced he will declare today a national holiday honoring all...
new ortho consult

Appropriate IM Consult Criteria According to IM Versus According to Ortho

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WOONSOCKET, RI - After a decades long proxy battle typically waged through interns and passive aggressive notes, the leaders of the Internal Medicine and...

Medical Student Accidentally Pimps Orthopedic Surgeon

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NEW YORK, NY - In what is being called a “total collapse of the medical training hierarchy,” third-year medical student Jennifer Hutchinson of University Medical...
Ancef pump

Orthopod Caught Auscultating Ancef Pump

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ATLANTA, GA - "Shhh," orthopedic surgeon Thor Hammersley told befuddled onlookers as he used a stethoscope (or, as he puts it, "a mini jump rope") to...
unsteady gate

Hospitalist Consults PT to Assess Unsteady Gate

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VININGS, GA - Concerned that it is now high risk and a fall is imminent, hospitalist Martin Halvorson has asked if physical therapy (PT)...

NSFW: Uncensored Celeb Pics Never Seen Before

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1. Kim Kardashian - What is left when the internet has seen every inch of her? How about her placenta? Technically not part of...
left hand

New Ortho Sub-Subspecialty Left Hand Fellowship Announced!

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COLLEGE PARK, MD - Fresh out of the ABMS office, it has been confirmed, Dr. Geaux Negolfing has applied and been approved to start...
Break a leg!

Wishing ‘Break a Leg!’ Increases Risk of Femur Fracture by 85%

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ROSEMONT, IL - The American Academy of Orthopaedic Surgeons reports that the theatrical superstition of wishing good luck to stage performers in the form of the...