Orthopedics

Arrival heptopods orthopods Louise Banks

‘Arrival’ Heroine, Dr. Louise Banks, Tries to Decipher Wordless Language of Orthopods

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MONTANA - After playing a critical role in deciphering the language of the alien squid-like heptopods as chronicled in last year's real-life documentary Arrival,...

Orthopaedic Surgeon Pays $400,000 to Prevent Son From Matching Into Ophthalmology Residency

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BOSTON, MA - Inspired by the recent college admissions cheating scandal, local Orthopaedic Surgeon Brock Hammersley took matters into his own hands when his...
orthopedic surgeons

Orthopedic Surgeons Find Revolutionary Auscultation Point‏

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OMAHA, NE - Orthopedic surgeons of the University of Nebraska, Medical Center (UNMC) have found a new auscultation point that combines all cardiac, respiratory, and...
atls by medical specialty

Do You Know Your ABCs by Subspecialty?

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CHICAGO, IL – The American College of Surgeons (ACS) released new subspecialty-focused primary survey guidelines for Advanced Trauma Life Support (ATLS) this week after...
level I level II

Patient Survives & Beats Level I Trauma Center, Moves On to Level II

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ATLANTA, GA - It has been a challenging year for 27-year-old Michael Snead, who broke his right femur in a motorcycle accident 6 months...
orthopedic surgeons

Ortho Calls Temporary Truce in Turf War

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Dr T.K. Anderson, chief of orthopedics at Salter & Harris Memorial Hospital made a stunning announcement in the face of the COVID-19 pandemic. “We...
chest pain

Warriors Fans Suffering Chest Pain Radiating from Steph Curry’s Sprained Knee

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OAKLAND, CA - Sharpshooter Stephen Curry has officially suffered a sprained right MCL, which is so painful that it is in fact radiating to the...
pina coladas

Ortho Likes Pina Coladas, Getting Caught in the Rain

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SANTA MONICA, CA - In a stunning development that has taken place just over the past few minutes, Gomerblog has learned that Ortho likes...
Tom Brady Super Bowl LII amputate hand

Sportsmanship FTW! Eagles’ Doc Offers to Amputate Brady’s Injured Hand Before Super Bowl LII

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PHILADELPHIA, PA - In a true show of sportsmanship towards the New England Patriots ahead of their February 4 date at Super Bowl LII...

General Surgeon Moves Clinic to Operating Room, Cites Excessive Patient Consciousness

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CEDAR RAPIDS, IA – Jacob Townsend, a 53-year-old general surgeon, has decided to permanently move his clinic to the operating room due to ongoing...