Nice Work, Brah: Ortho Note Mentions Horizontal Nystagmus
BOSTON, MA - Hospitalists, neurologists, and neurosurgeons at Massachusetts Specific Hospital in Boston were dumbfounded this morning when they found that a note by orthopaedic surgeon Brock Hammersley mentioned the finding of horizontal nystagmus.
"What...
Fisher Price to Add Thoracotomy Tools To Medical Kit for 2019
EAST AURORA, NY - In a press release, Fisher Price has said that the children's toy brand will add thoracotomy tools to its popular medical kit, which currently includes a stethsocope, otoscope, thermometer, blood...
Breaking: Surgeon Removes Perforated Appendix from Textbook
NASHVILLE, TN - A general surgeon at Vanderbilt University, Dr. James Cavalier, has successfully removed an inflamed and perforated appendix from his copy of Sabiston Textbook of Surgery: The Biological Basis of Modern Surgical...
Pilot Makes Passengers NPO After Midnight for Flight Tomorrow
ATLANTA, GA - In an effort to minimize the risk of aspiration during tomorrow's three-hour East coast flight from Atlanta's Hartsfield-Jackson International Airport to Boston's Logan International Airport, JetBlue Pilot Mickey Albright has made all 189...
Polar Vortex Advice: Urologists Recommend Setting Genitals on Fire for Warmth
LINTHICUM, MD - With the polar vortex forcing them to convene a rare emergency meeting, the American Urological Association (AUA) has issued new recommendations to the public, advising all Americans, Midwesterners in particular, to...
Breaking: Polar Vortex Blamed on Subzero OR Temperatures
SILVER SPRING, MD - Begging surgeons to keep operating room doors closed as much as possible, the National Weather Service (NWS) has cited the subzero temperatures of ORs in the Midwest as the source...
Doctor Introduces New ‘Rate My Patient’ App
Tired of mediocre Yelp reviews by non-compliant patients, Dr. Thomson created “Rate my Patient”, an app designed for physicians that gives them a little heads up on who they’re seeing in their office that...
A Growing Trend with Men, Vasectomy Procedure Plans
CHICAGO, IL - Recently a new trend has been spreading like wildfires throughout urology and family medicine clinics in the US…Vasectomy Procedure Plans. Many men seeking sterility are taking the advice from numerous pregnant...
Introducing the Medical Specialty Privilege Hierarchy!
CHECKYOSELF, OR - Ever had a conversation with a colleague in another specialty and felt like they didn't understand where you were coming from? As though they had some sort of secret advantage in...
Doctor Summons Courage to Toss Unread New England Journals
PITTSBURGH, PA - Sometimes it's better to acknowledge one's own shortcomings and move on. That is why we're saluting a hero, internist Dr. Keisha Boots, for summoning the strength and courage to do something...