Surgery

unsteady gate

Hospitalist Consults PT to Assess Unsteady Gate

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VININGS, GA - Concerned that it is now high risk and a fall is imminent, hospitalist Martin Halvorson has asked if physical therapy (PT) could come to his front yard and assess his unsteady...

Fortune Cookies Replace Lotto Numbers with Vital Signs

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BROOKLYN, NY - In an effort to appeal to health care professionals who order Chinese food for take out because the cafeteria is closed, fortune cookie maker Wonton Food Inc. have decided to replace their...

Breaking: Surgeon Asks Anesthesia to Lower His Tray Table

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DELTA 291 - Citing numerous reasons why he couldn't perform the maneuver by himself, passenger and general surgeon Richard Patton has asked Anesthesia to lower his tray table so that he might rest his smartphone and beverage on...
sleeping in

Trauma Surgeon Looks Forward to Sleeping in Until 5 AM Tomorrow

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SEATTLE, WA - After what has been undoubtedly a very busy week even for what is expected this time of year, Harborview Medical Center trauma surgeon Ramona Myer looks forward to a lighter day of...

HHS Announces New Crack Down on Illicit Cardiac Massage Parlors

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WASHINGTON, D.C. - Officials from the Department of Health and Human Services Monday announced a joint operation with Departments of Homeland Security and the Federal Bureau of Investigation to crack down on illicit cardiac...

23 Million Americans Watch Royal Wedding, No Decline In Patient Care Among ROAD Docs...

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With the estimation that 23 million Americans had their eyes glued to the television to watch the royal wedding of Meghan Markle and Prince Harry, Gomerblog set out to study how this impacted patient...

Psychiatrist Joins WWE and Puts Opponent in a Mental Health Hold

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LUBBOCK, TX – Finally fed up with all the bullying he was receiving from general surgeons, Dr. Froyd abandoned his post as Consultation-Liaison Psychiatrist at Lubbock General Hospital for a more lucrative career in...
graham crackers 1981 Nabisco vintage

Hangry Intern Opens Up Vintage Packet of Graham Crackers from 1981

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SAN FRANCISCO, CA - Figuring that there was no better time to celebrate than during this particular overnight call, University of California, San Francisco (UCSF) surgical intern Jose Rioja has decided to open up a...

OR Case Canceled Due to No Remaining Time Outs

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The first case of the day at Saint Methodist Maplewood hospital was canceled due to no remaining time outs prior to incision. Circulator, Renee Count explained, "We had to use an extra time out before...

Anesthesiologists Now Offering Tap from a Ball-Peen Hammer as Natural Option for Sedation

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Under pressure from the Natural Medicine movement, the American Society of Anesthesiologists have discovered a "natural" and "drug-free" approach toward preparing a patient for surgery: a firm, well-placed knock to the skull with a...