Ophthalmologists Found to be “Physically Weakest” of All Specialists
New research has shed light on which group of physicians are the most physically frail and feeble. Emerging data shows that the top spot...
Breaking: VA Pick Ronny Jackson Withdraws from Both Nomination, Opioids
WASHINGTON, D.C. - Citing the "baseless and anonymous attacks on my character" as well as intractable abdominal cramps, lacrimation, and rhinorrhea, White House physician Rear...
Ortho Consults Medicine to See if It’s Spelled Orthopedics or Orthopaedics
BOSTON, MA - Unable to settle a decades-long debate amongst themselves, orthopods at Massachusetts General Hospital (MGH) have swallowed their pride and consulted their...
Urologist Performs World’s First Successful Transurethral Resection of the Colon
CLEVELAND, OH - Renowned Cleveland Clinic urologist Dr. Jebron Lames has made history today by performing the world's first successful transurethral resection of the...
Breaking: 1 in 500 Can’t Smell What The Rock is Cooking
HAYWARD, CA - The Rock says it all the time: "Can YA SMELL-LALALALALALALLALALA-OWWWWWW what The Rock…. is cooking?!" But can everyone smell what The...
Ortho Defeats Da Vinci in Good Ole Fashioned Arm-Wrestling Match
DURHAM, NC - An anticipated nail-biter that didn't end up going the distance, orthopedic surgeon Barrett Stonewall easily defeated the Da Vinci Surgical Robot...
Surgeon in Corner Running the Da Vinci is Actually Just Playing Video Games
COLUMBUS, OH - A revelation concerning the function of the da Vinci robot console recently came to light when a circulating nurse discovered its...
Anesthesiologist Proposes Use of Metric Time
HOUSTON, TX - Dr. Alan Payne, an anesthesiologist and physicist, proposes the use of metric time for determining surgical time duration.
“How many times at...
Orthopod Cuts Patient Load by Telling Them the Truth
PEMBROKE PINES, FL - In an amazing feat of political incorrectness, an orthopaedic surgeon cut his clinic volume of non-operative patients by half by simply...