Patient’s Pregnancy Test Positive Despite Denying Sexual Activity; Obstetricians Baffled
A 15-lead ECG, two X-rays, an ultrasound, a full-body CT, an MRI with gadolinium, and still, a mystery.
“It’s perplexing, that’s for sure,” said Dr. Jouseph Wong, senior obstetrician. Dr. Wong and his colleagues have been...
Vader Pharmaceuticals Introduces New EpiLightsaber for Anaphylaxis
DEATH STAR II - In response to the growing prevalence of food allergies among employees of the evil Galactic Empire, Vader Pharmaceuticals have announced the development of an epinephrine autoinjector called an EpiLightsaber to...
New Social Worker Way More Social Than She is a Worker
NEW YORK, NY - It hasn’t taken long for health care providers at Mount Sinai Hospital to realize that Amanda Johnson, a new social worker hired just last month, is way more social than she...
New Blood Test Measures Serum A**hole Levels
BETHESDA, MD - Researchers at the National Institutes of Health (NIH) are giddy over a fantastic new blood test that can only be described as “amazeballs.” It is a new serum a**hole a**ay that...
Retina Specialist to Further Subspecialize and Focus on Cones
NEW YORK, NY - Realizing that the ophthalmologic world of retina is still way too vast with its ten layers, retina specialist Jacob Vitreous has decided to further subspecialize by focusing not only on one...
Sweet Little Old Lady Has Impressive Vocabulary of Profanity
ATLANTA, GA - 94-year-old and 96-lb. Annabelle Rivers is as sweet and tiny as they come. She always has her makeup done right first thing in the morning, smiles from ear to ear, and...
Study: Dilaudid Administration Directly Correlates with High Patient Satisfaction; Narcan Not So Much
BOSTON, MA - As many doctors and nurses have discovered the hard way, a recent study published in the New England Journal of Medicine elucidated the seemingly perfect linear relationship with Dilaudid administration and...
Soccer Mom Heals Femur Fracture with Herbs, Essential Oils
ORANGE, CA - Mrs. Stephanie Holmestown experienced what all parents fear while watching their kids play sports; her eleven-year-old son Andrew collided with another player during a soccer game, fell to the ground holding his...
15 Ways to Confuse, Demoralize, and Frustrate Your Emergency Physician
When you are a patient in a busy ED, getting your doctor’s best effort in caring for you can be difficult. Most ED physicians only have a couple of minutes to obtain their history...
Tips: How to Manage Your Pent-Up, Work-Related Rage
Many jobs, in particular ones involving working at the hospital, have a certain way of… how do you say… taking you there. One of the great (horrible) things about being a health care practitioner is...