Breaking News: Kevin Bacon Diagnosed with Sixth-Degree Heart Block
LOS ANGELES, CA - After developing the sudden onset of shortness of breath, self-proclaimed Center of the Universe Kevin Bacon was rushed to UCLA Medical Center where he has been found to have sixth-degree heart...
An Orthopedic Surgeon Explains: Diastolic Heart Failure
Brosefs and lady folk:
It seems that every now and then we have to deal with something other than the bones. As you can imagine, this is sub-optimal at best. Because bones. Anywhoo, I've been...
Covid-19 Prevention: New AICD Delivers Shock Whenever You Touch Your Face
VOLTAGE, OR—In what can only be described as “shocking” news, the FDA recently approved a novel implantable cardioverter-defibrillator that not only senses dangerous arrhythmias but also doubles as a Covid-19-prevention device. Indeed, this new...
Maker of EKG Pads Now Recommends 230-Lead EKGs for Patients
FRIDLEY, MN - New studies are demonstrating that the more EKG leads a patient has, the more accurate the EKG is. Previously, only 12 leads were utilized to produce EKG printouts, but physicists at...
Patient Undergoes Successful Prophylactic Cardiac Resection
NASHVILLE, TN - A patient has undergone successful prophylactic cardiac resection at Nashville Medical Center today in a “very proactive effort" to mitigate any future chance of developing cardiovascular disease, Gomerblog reports.
New STOP ACLS Algorithm Proven to Reduce Hospital Costs and Readmissions
JOPLIN, MO - New ACLS guidelines have been published that are anticipated to completely revolutionize the care given to patients in cardiac arrest. "The idea was originally brought to us by several on our...
Canadian Provinces Presenting to the Emergency Room
British Columbia: 43-year-old female worried she accidentally overdosed on Gingko baba when she took two times the amount on her way to yoga. Feeling tingly inside.
Alberta: 30-year-old male requesting medication refill for Ativan. Here...
Medcomic: WPW Edition (Whoa, Surf’s Up!)
Wolff-Parkinson-White syndrome (WPW) is a pre-excitation syndrome of intermittent tachycardia that results from an accessory pathway (the bundle of Kent) directly connecting the atria and the ventricles. The anomalous pathyway allows electrical activity to...
Report: Spike in 0-Lead ECGs the Result of Budget Cutbacks
BOSTON, MA - Hospital administrators are under increased pressure to make ends meet, and the latest series of budget cutbacks at Massachusetts Lieutenant General Hospital (MLGH) has explained a recent spike in the number...
Breaking: Nurse Successfully Resuscitates CPR Dummy Back to Human Life
NEW ORLEANS, LA - In some incredible news, critical care nurse Margie Casamento at Tulane Medical Center became the first health care practitioner to successful resuscitate a CPR dummy (or CPR manikin) back to human life....
