Tuesday, April 23, 2024

Cardiology

Kevin Bacon sixth-degree heart block

Breaking News: Kevin Bacon Diagnosed with Sixth-Degree Heart Block

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LOS ANGELES, CA - After developing the sudden onset of shortness of breath, self-proclaimed Center of the Universe Kevin Bacon was rushed to UCLA Medical Center where he has been found to have sixth-degree heart...
heparin bridge 85

I-85 in Atlanta is Finally Therapeutic, Heparin Bridge D/C’d

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ATLANTA, GA - Gomerblog is excited to report that I-85 in Atlanta, which collapsed 6 weeks ago for reasons that can likely be blamed on Anesthesia, finally has a therapeutic INR of 2.45, and...
Lub Dub

Cardiologist Names Newborn Daughter Lub Dub

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ATLANTA, GA - After much deliberation but with much excitement, cardiologist Randy Duckett has announced that he and his wife have chosen a name for their beautiful newborn 6 lb. 12 oz. daughter: Lub...

IM Doc Goes on Fishing Trip, Plans to Get Rheum on Board

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CHARLESTON, SC - Local Internal Medicine physician Randy Kitts was headed out on a fishing trip Saturday when he realized before he set course he should "probably get Rheum on board." "Well, the waters are...
John Doe

Breaking: Turns Out the Patient’s Name Really is John Doe

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NASHVILLE, TN - Well, it was bound to happen one day: members of the intensive care unit (ICU) team at Vanderbilt University have realized that their comatose patient assigned the name John Doe until...
troponin bump

The Scourge of Troponipenia

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MIAMI-DADE COUNTY, FL - Hospitalists are going crazy about the pandemic of normal troponins in Miami-Dade.  Jose Fernandez-Rodriguez-Hernandez-Alonso, MD -- “Mrs. Garcia, presented with chest pain, it was sharp, started after an especially traumatic...
bacon-eluting stent

Cardiologists Now Deploying Bacon-Eluting Stents

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NASHVILLE, TN - Unfazed by the obesity epidemic and the glorious number of unhealthy choices at their disposal, Americans are always looking for innovative, quicker ways to achieve heart disease.  Thanks to advancements in the field...

Most Popular Medical Questions of 2016 by State

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2016 is complete, and we combed through the data at Google to find out what were the most popular medical questions asked by state (click the map to enlarge): What is New England's obsession with...
shoulder pain

A Cardiologist Explains: Shoulder Pain

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Hello, and good afternoon to you.  Of course, I know it must be the afternoon because I don't see patients in the morning or evening or weekend anymore. At any rate, I shall discuss with...
CPR dummy manikin

Breaking: Nurse Successfully Resuscitates CPR Dummy Back to Human Life

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NEW ORLEANS, LA - In some incredible news, critical care nurse Margie Casamento at Tulane Medical Center became the first health care practitioner to successful resuscitate a CPR dummy (or CPR manikin) back to human life....