Food Truck Entrepreneur Now Providing Endoscopies
OUTSIDE METROPOLITAN HEALTH SYSTEM - Let's face it, hospital cafeteria food is hideous, even when it's labeled correctly. That's why people in scrubs line up every day for the half a dozen food trucks park...
Secret of Successful Weight Loss Clinic: Tape Worms
CARINGTON, IL - Recent controversy regarding a famous weight loss clinic, Let’s Knock It Off!, has the media in a buzz. Let’s Knock It Off! has been an up-and-coming weight-loss empire, with many Hollywood success stories.
Perennial weight-gainer/weight-loser,...
Man On Gluten-Free Diet Has No Idea What Gluten Actually Is
Chad Bennington, a 32-year-old otherwise healthy male without celiac disease, saw a new phrase on his favorite cereal box at his local grocery store. In bold white letters it read “GLUTEN FREE” with a...
45-Year-Old EM Physician Reflects Back Upon 4.0 GPA in College While Manually Disimpacting Patient
PENDELTON, IN - Departmental Emergency Medicine Chief Dr. Glenn Henderson was seen staring off into space daydreaming on Monday morning, while digitally disimpacting a 90-year-old nursing home patient, Onis McBurgrontree of Pendleton, IN. With his right index...
Medical Researcher Belatedly Realizes His Paper Was Published in The Anals of Internal Medicine
DES MOINES, IA – With dawning horror, local medical researcher Dr. Clint Malloy realized he had been mistaken to believe his recent paper was accepted to The Annals of Internal Medicine, when in fact it had...
Study: Laughter Truly is the Best Medicine, Except for Cases of Severe Diarrhea
SAN ANTONIO, TX – A new study published in The Medicine Journal demonstrated that laughter truly is the best medicine for medical aliments. The study enrolled patients with a large variety of medical conditions including diabetes,...
Whole Foods to Offer Free Gluten Sensitivity Tests in Aisles
HARTFORD, CT - In an attempt to further push gluten-free foods into the public eye, Whole Foods has added point of care celiac sprue testing adjacent to the gluten free aisle. This low-sensitivity test...
After Binging on Pizza and Beer, Local Man Claims to Have Gluten Allergy
BERKELEY, CA – Local resident Charles Longfellow is no stranger to beer. “A typical weekend I’ll go through a couple cases,” he told reporters boastfully.
This 36-year-old male has been living the same weekend for the...
Guest Delighted to Meet Physician at Party, Discusses Medical Symptoms for a Soul-Crushing 45...
CHARLOTTE, NC - Last week at a cocktail party, a local woman was thrilled to learn that a another guest was a practicing internist. "I've got to meet him!" Sandy Rosenbleeth confided to her long-time...
Super Mario in Critical Condition, Mistakes Deadly Amanita for 1-Up Mushroom
WORLD 7-2, MUSHROOM KINGDOM - Beloved Italian hero and plumber Super Mario is currently in critical condition at an area World 7-2 hospital after he mistakenly consumed a deadly Amanita mushroom during a routine quest...
