Infectious Disease

CDC headquarters, ignore, sit-up, sit-ups, anti-vaxxer cooties, pictures 2,300 words, eat sh*t and die, hypodermic needles, bed bugs, vanco, Zosyn, Lego, flu shot, exhalation, baseline, Vaseline, scabies

CDC: Talking About Scabies Can Give You Scabies

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ATLANTA, GA - The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) has some unfortunate news for everyone: Talking about scabies can actually give you scabies. "You know how just talking about scabies makes you want...
thank you cards

ID Doc Sends ‘Thank You’ Cards for Those Interesting Consults

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NEW HAVEN, CT - Taking consultative manners into another echelon, a Yale infectious diseases doctor is sending "Thank You" cards to show her appreciation for anyone who reached out to her with an interesting...
"Mostly useless!" credentialing process

Doctor Dies After Lifelong Battle with Credentialing Process

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DURHAM, NC - Gomerblog is saddened to report that infectious diseases physician, Dr. Ella Mering, has died after finally succumbing to a lifelong battle with her hospital's credentialing process. She was 39 years...
staph staff

The Difference Between Staff & Staph

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Over the past several weeks, Gomerblog has observed an uptick in medical documentation mishaps in which the words “staff” and “Staph” are used incorrectly.  For this reason, we have deemed it critically important to...

Boston Scientific Reveals New “Drug-Eluting Bracelet”

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MARLBOROUGH, MA – The role of proper hand hygiene in preventing healthcare-associated infection is well understood, yet the CDC reports that American healthcare workers wash their hands less than half as often as they...

RN Too Terrified of N95 Fit Testing Instructor to Admit Tasting Bitter Spray

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COMMUNITY HOSPITAL - RN Maria did not speak up when her N95 mask didn’t fit properly due to feeling intimidated by her instructor, Cara, thereby forfeiting her one annual chance to learn how to correctly...
mars essential oils

MRSA Colonizes Mars

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In a joint conference, CDC and NASA delivered a striking blow to human ambition and ingenuity, announcing that MRSA has officially colonized Mars.  Defeating the dreams of such forward thinkers as Elon Musk and...

Revolutionary New Antibiotic Has No Drug Interactions

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The pharmaceutical company PharmaWow has just released its latest drug, an antibiotic which they claim will not interact with anything. In response to the growing challenges physicians face in dealing with polypharmacy and drug-drug interactions,...
influenza C. diff

That Can’t Be Good: Flu Swab Positive for C. Diff

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ATLANTA, GA - In a highly-ominous sign suggesting this year's influenza season may be as bad or even worse than last year's, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) has reported that an...
Batman Histoplasmosis

Inevitable Really: Batman Diagnosed with Histoplasmosis

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GOTHAM CITY - Saying that it is pretty remarkable that he even went this long without catching it, doctors at Gotham City Medical Center (GCMC) have diagnosed DC superhero Batman with acute pulmonary histoplasmosis. ...