Sexy Ebola Nurses Released from 45-Day Quarantine
MOBRIDGE, SD - The nation breathed a sigh of relief today as hordes of sexy Ebola nurses were released from the place of quarantine...
“Bieber Fever” Determined to Be Neurosyphilis
CAMBRIDGE, MA – Scientists have been investigating an outbreak that has been sweeping over the world the past several years that has been coined...
Rand Paul’s Medical Credibility Lowered to Jenny McCarthy’s Level
KENTUCKY - In a shocking statement released today by Rand Paul, a well-respected Kentucky senator and ophthalmologist, he believes vaccines can lead to "mental...
Patient Still Concerned About Getting Sick from the Flu Shot
MADISON, WI - Doreen Knowitall was horrified that her primary care physician again offered her a flu shot “Even though I told her I...
That Can’t Be Good: Flu Swab Positive for C. Diff
ATLANTA, GA - In a highly-ominous sign suggesting this year's influenza season may be as bad or even worse than last year's, the Centers...
CDC Break Room Found to Be Culprit in New Bacterial Outbreak
ATLANTA, GA - A recent outbreak of a dangerous enterobacteria, brought the Center for Disease Control (CDC) to their own backyard yesterday to search for a cause. It...
Devious MRSA Spider Bites Yet Another Antecubital Fossa, Remains at Large
GASTONIA, NC - Following an all-too-familiar recent theme, a new patient was assaulted last week by a psychotic spider rampaging through the South.
Earl Wayne...
IM Doc Goes on Fishing Trip, Plans to Get Rheum on Board
CHARLESTON, SC - Local Internal Medicine physician Randy Kitts was headed out on a fishing trip Saturday when he realized before he set course...
Fed Up ID Doctor Wishes Everyone Would F**king Defervesce Already
EL PASO, TX - "Fevers, fevers, everywhere I look, someone's got a f**king fever!!" Dr. Ryan Keeley was heard muttering down a hallway at...
CDC Reporting New Condition Affecting Residency Applicants: Email Refresh Syndrome (ERS)
ATLANTA, GA - Each fall, thousands of fourth-year medical students submit residency applications and eagerly wait for interview invitations. This has traditionally been an...