Infectious Disease

Sexy Ebola Nurses Released from 45-Day Quarantine

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MOBRIDGE, SD - The nation breathed a sigh of relief today as hordes of sexy Ebola nurses were released from the place of quarantine...

Medical Student Mob Tears Down Statue of Andrew Wakefield

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CLEVELAND, OH - An angry mob of medical students tore down a statue of Andrew Wakefield in front of the Cleveland Clinic Saturday.  This...
skinny jeans sepsis

Skinny Jeans Increase Venous Return in Sepsis

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CINCINNATI, OH - A recent study out of Northside, Cincinnati claims all-cause mortality benefit in sepsis with addition of skinny jeans to early goal...

Vaccines Cause Children to Love Minecraft

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It really couldn’t be more obvious, just look around.  We NEVER saw a child playing Minecraft when I was growing up, never.  Now it’s...

Aliens Postpone Earth Invasion Due to Coronavirus Concerns

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INTERNATIONAL SPACE STATION - Due to justified concerns about their own immune systems, an alien race has decided to postpone their plans for a...
vaccination

Startling Report: CDC Recommends Against Vaccinations, Anti-Vaxxers Now Demanding Their Right to Vaccinate

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ATLANTA, GA - After a funding change, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) completed a meta-analysis using super statistical procedures and skewed...

Canadian Provinces Presenting to the Emergency Room

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British Columbia: 43-year-old female worried she accidentally overdosed on Gingko baba when she took two times the amount on her way to yoga. Feeling...
cowbell

Infectious Disease consulted for FUO, Prescribes More Cowbell

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COLUMBUS, OH – A local case has gained national attention as ground zero in the initiative for antibiotic stewardship. A 27-year-old previously healthy man...
Lumbar Puncture LP Spinal Tap

Two Examples of Amazingly Subpar Lumbar Puncture Procedure Notes

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Amazingly Subpar Lumbar Puncture Procedure Note #1 Procedure: This is Spinal Tap. Date/Time: Optional. Indication: Infectious Diseases said it was a good idea. Resident: Dr. Kyle Richter, PGY-1. Attending: Yes. A time-out was completed to...

CDC Reporting New Condition Affecting Residency Applicants: Email Refresh Syndrome (ERS)

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ATLANTA, GA - Each fall, thousands of fourth-year medical students submit residency applications and eagerly wait for interview invitations. This has traditionally been an...