Dr. Oz’s Show Set to Return After Study Says His Advice Will Only Kill...
NEW YORK, NY—Dr. Oz’s self-titled talk show, which sadly has been on hiatus due to the coronavirus pandemic, is set to resume tapings immediately after a study in The Lancet concluded that the misinformation...
Patients on Contact Precautions in Hospital, Now Required to Have Yellow Cart Outside of...
PHILADELPHIA, PA - A new mandate was recently passed that now requires ALL patients that were in contact precautions in the hospital, must have a yellow contact precaution cart outside of their home after...
Breaking: Bronx Zoo Tiger with COVID-19 Leaves Hospital AMA
BRONX, NY - Nadia, a 4-year-old Amur tiger from the Bronx Zoo, who recently tested positive for COVID-19, has left the hospital against medical advice (AMA), per sources.
She was admitted last night to an...
The Latest Fashion Trend for the Fall: Chin Hammocks
The fall is here and with it, comes the latest fashion trends for the coolest and hippest of people of the world: those who are immune not only to a virus but also to...
New Antimicrobial First Drug Ever with Fecal-Oral Route of Administratio
SILVER SPRING, MD—A new antimicrobial is the first drug to be approved by the FDA with a novel route of administration: the fecal-oral route. Taking advantage of a behavior—improper or no handwashing after wiping,...
ID Fellow Demanding CME Reimbursement for Anthrax Concert Ticket
NEW YORK, NY - Dr. Michael Dante, a first-year infectious diseases (ID) fellow at Bellevue Hospital has recently received devastating news from the Continuing Medical Education (CME) administrator of his fellowship program. Per the...
WHO: Coronavirus Successfully Contained to Planet Earth
GENEVA, SWITZERLAND - At a televised press conference this morning, the World Health Organization (WHO) announced that they have successfully contained the deadly virus that causes COVID-19 to Earth. Although it can be found...
Skinny Jeans Increase Venous Return in Sepsis
CINCINNATI, OH - A recent study out of Northside, Cincinnati claims all-cause mortality benefit in sepsis with addition of skinny jeans to early goal directed therapy. It has long been known that early aggressive...
Purell Releases New Life-Sized Foaming Body Sanitizer
AKRON, OH - Realizing that clean hands was the tip of the iceberg, GOJO Industries, Inc. have announced their biggest and baddest Purell product yet: life-sized Purell Foaming Body Sanitizer.
Compared to its more diminutive Purell...
U.S. Hospitals to Close After Patients Test Positive for COVID-19
CHICAGO, IL - The NBA suspended its season when its first player tested positive for COVID. American public schools closed when its first students or employees tested positive for COVID. ...