Internal Medicine

millennial

Millennial Woman Admitted to Millennial ICU Because She “Can’t Even”

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TAMPA, FL - Missy Howell, a 25-year-old from the suburbs was recently rushed to St. Felicia Medical Center by friends after an acute episode of being unable "to even."  Friends recounted the episode in which...
black hole

Dreaming Big: GI Doc Hopes to Reach Outer Space & Scope a Black Hole

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SAN DIEGO, CA - Some of the biggest accomplishments ever made in medicine only came to fruition because passionate people were allowed to be dreamers.  Gastroenterologist Randolph Wood is no exception.  Beloved and considered...
CDC headquarters, ignore, sit-up, sit-ups, anti-vaxxer cooties, pictures 2,300 words, eat sh*t and die, hypodermic needles, bed bugs, vanco, Zosyn, Lego, flu shot, exhalation, baseline, Vaseline, scabies

CDC Announces Mandatory Journal Club on Vaccines for All Americans

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ATLANTA, GA - The Centers for Disease Control announced in a press release today that they would be holding a mandatory journal club about vaccines.  The anti-vax movement has continued to gain steam since The...
pregnancy

Vaccinations Now Definitively Linked to Pregnancy

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BOSTON, MA - A new study just published in the Old England Journal of Medicine now definitively links childhood vaccinations to pregnancy. Jenny McCarthy, the paper’s sole author, stated after reviewing the data that...
ejection fraction EF 100%

Perfect Score! Patient Has Ejection Fraction of 100%

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SAVANNAH, GA - In breaking news to Gomerblog, patient Edward Jacobs has just aced his cardiac exam, the transthoracic echocardiogram specifically, becoming the first patient in history to achieve of a perfect ejection fraction...
level I level II

Patient Survives & Beats Level I Trauma Center, Moves On to Level II

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ATLANTA, GA - It has been a challenging year for 27-year-old Michael Snead, who broke his right femur in a motorcycle accident 6 months ago.  But thanks to his orthopedic trauma team at Grady...
lantus crocs

Crocs Now Adding Insulin to Footwear Line

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NIWOT, CO - In a news conference last week, Andrew Rees, CEO of Crocs, Inc., announced that all new Crocs will now include microneedles that slowly excrete insulin when worn. "We've held the corner on...
Trojan condom

It’s About Time: Trojan’s New Bulletproof Condoms to Protect Against STIs, Terrorists

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NEW YORK, NY - Focusing 2017 research and development dollars on the final sentence of their tagline "Trojan. Pleasure you want. Protection You Trust.," Trojan has introduced a new line of bulletproof condoms that not...
residents

Costco to Offer Family Medicine Residency at Stores Nationwide

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ISSAQUAH, WA - In an effort to expand services to include comprehensive health care, wholesale giant Costco recently announced plans to allow customers to enroll in its family medicine residency program at each one...
reach out

In Attempt to Reach Out to Cards, Medicine Resident Falls Out of Chair

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BOSTON, MA - In an aging population that is becoming increasingly complex, it is not uncommon for inpatient primary teams taking care of patients to reach out to subspecialists for help.  This is what...