Internal Medicine

Top 10 Reasons United is Forcibly Dragging Doctors Off Planes

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THE INTERNET - United Airlines has come under fire after video surfaced of a doctor being dragged off a plane due to the airline overbooking a flight.  Gomerblog did some digging, and it turns out...

United Airlines Asked to Forcibly Remove Patient from Hospital

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CHICAGO, IL - Local patient Sam Johnson, who is being "taken care of" at Mercy Hospital, has not been able to leave for 7 months.  Internist Dr. Kyle Redding has failed miserably at placement. "He is...
endotracheal tube cough suppressant

Study: The Most Effective Cough Suppressant is an Endotracheal Tube

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BOSTON, MA - Cough drops for a cough?  Not so fast.  An illuminating new multicenter, randomized-controlled, quintuple-blinded study in the New England Journal of Medical Management (NEJMM) states that compared to other antitussive agents,...
hospital door cms

New CMS Guideline: Door-to-Dilaudid Time

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WOODLAWN, MD - Today the Center for Medical Surveys (CMS) announced a radical change to benchmarking and patient satisfaction surveys.  Realizing the opportunity to capture more data while ensuring emergency medicine physicians meet patient’s...
Steve Bannon

Surgical Oncologist Successfully Resects Steve Bannon from National Security Council

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WASHINGTON, D.C. - At a press conference at MedStar Georgetown University Hospital early this morning, surgical oncologist Dr. H.R. McMaster was pleased to announce that he was able to successfully resect Steve Bannon from the National...
LOS

Study: Length of D/C Summary Inversely Proportional to Length of Stay (LOS)

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BETHESDA, MD - A landmark study conducted by the National Institute of Documentation (NID) has proven once and for all the length of a discharge summary is inversely proportional to a given patient's length of...
used speculum tongue depressor

CDC: Stop Using Purulent Speculums as Tongue Depressors

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ATLANTA, GA - Disturbed by a surge in case reports driven by medical providers who are either short on equipment or just extremely lazy, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) has issued...
signed off sign off

Jealous of All the Consultants Who Signed Off, Primary Team Decides to Sign Off...

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KNOXVILLE, TN - After numerous consultants signed off of the case due to the patient's improving clinical condition, the primary inpatient internal medicine team led by Carrie Ramirez was teeming with jealously, leading her...

IM Doc Goes on Fishing Trip, Plans to Get Rheum on Board

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CHARLESTON, SC - Local Internal Medicine physician Randy Kitts was headed out on a fishing trip Saturday when he realized before he set course he should "probably get Rheum on board." "Well, the waters are...
CDC headquarters, ignore, sit-up, sit-ups, anti-vaxxer cooties, pictures 2,300 words, eat sh*t and die, hypodermic needles, bed bugs, vanco, Zosyn, Lego, flu shot, exhalation, baseline, Vaseline, scabies

Confused Michael Flynn Requests Immunity from CDC, Immunizations from Senate Intelligence Committee

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WASHINGTON, D.C. - Several health care and congressional sources have informed Gomerblog that they believe former National Security Advisor Michael Flynn is very confused and perhaps altered, as he keeps requesting immunity from the Centers for Disease...