Nursing

checks and balances

Doctors and Nurses Form ‘The Gigantic Commission’ to Accredit The Joint Commission

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SAN DIEGO, CA - With recent concerns over the credentials of employees of The Joint Commission (JC), doctors and nurses have formed a separate regulating body to inspect and regulate the JC, deemed "The Gigantic...
cpr

Code Blue Also Code Brown

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NEW YORK, NY – According to multiple sources in attendance at, or rapidly emerging from, the cardiopulmonary resuscitation currently underway in room 1214, the ongoing Code Blue is most definitely also a Code Brown. “Mr....
patient survey

Nurses, Doctors Fight Back with New Health Care Practitioner Satisfaction Surveys

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NEW YORK, NY - Sick and tired of the unfair nature of patient satisfaction surveys that puts service above disease management, a multidisciplinary team of doctors, nurses, nurse practitioners, and physician assistants at New...
urine catheter

Forgot-to-Pee Syndrome Afflicting Millions of Health Care Workers

45
WASHINGTON, DC - The Journal of the American National Society, Committee, and Association of Urinary Retention and Other Things Too (JANSCAUROTT) estimates that nearly 1 million medical providers are not only afflicted but also...
urinal medical wreath

Record Number of Medical Providers Creating Gifts Using Things Around the Hospital

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ATLANTA, GA - With Christmas right around the corner, you would think medical providers far and wide are scrambling to find and wrap presents for their family and friends, especially if they are working...

Sexy Ebola Nurses Released from 45-Day Quarantine

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MOBRIDGE, SD - The nation breathed a sigh of relief today as hordes of sexy Ebola nurses were released from the place of quarantine in Mobridge.  These nurses were placed in isolation after being...

Bronco Products Announces the New and Revolutionary Perco-Later

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RESEARCH TRIANGLE, NC - Bronco Products, Inc. announces the recent FDA UL approved and patented Perco-later Percocet recovery device.  The Perco-later is a revolutionary new device that allows oxycodone to be extracted from urine thereby...
turkey in code cart

Emergency Code Carts Now Contain Turkey Sandwiches and Ginger Ale

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SAN DIEGO, CA - According to hospital administrators, Code Blue carts are now being outfitted to meet a new and growing medical emergency.  Effective Jan. 1, 2015, Drawer 2 in all Code Blue carts at...
geriatric fellowship

Snoop Dogg Completes Geriatrics Fellowship

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LONG BEACH, CA - After seemingly vanishing from the public eye for over a decade, former rapper Calvin "Snoop Dogg" Broadus announced that he is now ready to practice as an officially trained geriatrician....
hospital holiday party

Work Holiday Party to Celebrate Another Year of Resignations, Broken Promises

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FREEHOLD, NJ - CEO John Watkins of Freehold Medical Center is set to throw another epic end-of-the-year holiday party for his hospital and healthcare employees in an annual tradition of celebrating yet another year of...