Clumsy Intern Keeps Tripping Over Patients’ Foley Catheters
BOULDER, CO - Patients, nurses, and urologists at Boulder Medical Center are starting to lose patience with intern Willie Johnson, who despite being incredibly...
New CPR Mannequin to More Accurately Reflect Average American
WASHINGTON – The American Heart Association (AHA) announced today the release of a new line of CPR mannequins, designed to more accurately reflect the...
Patient Gives Hospital 1-Star Rating on TripAdvisor
LANGDON, ND – After a recent 43-day admission, local resident Sylvia McElroy reviewed her stay at Cavalier County Memorial Hospital with a disappointing 1-star...
Study Finds Lack of Turkey Sandwiches Correlates with Rise of Death in the ER
CHICAGO, IL - In a new study done by the Patients For Turkey Sandwiches (PFTS), it is found that a lack of turkey sandwiches...
Proactive Patient Does Own Admission Orders, H&P
QUEENS, NY - In one of the best examples in recent memory of medical self-ownership, a proactive patient not only sought medical attention but...
ER Nurses Holding Unplaced Inpatients Cheer Whenever ‘Code Blue’ Called Overhead
ZIP CITY, AL - After a record breaking week of admissions via the ER and an increase in scheduled outpatient procedures, St. Bertram Hospital in...
AMA Admits ‘We Are in the Pocket of Big Oxygen,’ Issues Formal Apology to...
Anti-vaxxers, conspiracy theorists, naturalists, you had it right all along. Our rampant greed as medical providers knows no bounds. You have called us out...
Hospital Gets Sexy as Overhead Speakers Start Playing a Little Marvin Gaye
ATLANTA, GA - Time to slow things down... real… slow… and heat things up. There’s a different feeling in the air at Georgia Medical...
Discharged Patient on Contact Precautions in Hospital, Spotted at Local Grocery Store
BALTIMORE, MD – 63-year-old Clarence Deeters was recently discharged from Mercy Hospital after being admitted and treated for urosepsis. While in the hospital for over...
Patient in Room 3 Worried After Code Blues in 1, 2, 4 & 5
ATLANTA, GA - “Oh God oh God oh God!” is what Tim McConnell said to himself in a fit of paranoia after a fourth...