Nursing

Neonatal Falls on the Rise

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A recent report in a major peer reviewed medical journal (then poorly summarized in an advertisement laden medical bulletin email) has uncovered yet another...

Charmin Profits As July Interns Sh*t Themselves

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GREEN BAY, WI - Proctor & Gamble's toilet paper brand Charmin expects to see profits soar throughout July as new interns flood hospitals in a blazing...
pope francis blessing

Who Received Pope Francis’ Blessing?

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Many people know that Pope Francis has been visiting the United States.  However, not many people realize that he has stopped by numerous healthcare...
nurses bench press

As Americans Get Fatter, Nursing Recruits More Football Players and Weightlifters

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ATLANTA, GA — An old joke asks, “What do you call a nurse with a bad back?” The punchline is “unemployed.” As Americans get...

‘This 1500-Calorie Diabetic Renal Diet is Delicious!’ Said No One in the History of...

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COAST-TO-COAST, AMERICA - "Well, I'll be damned!  This low-fat, low-sodium, low-cholesterol, low-potassium, 1500-calorie, diabetic, and renal diet is absolutely delicious!" said no hospitalized patient ever...
empty toner cartridge

Nurse Assigned to Shake Empty Toner Cartridge Every 5 Minutes

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LOUISVILLE, KY - As punishment for not charting a respiratory rate other than 16, first-year nurse Randy Tolbert has been relegated from patient care...
icu patient

Nurse Keeps Dead Patient to Prevent Another Admission

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CHARLESTON, SC - Nurse Missy Croney neglected to tell the charge nurse her patient was deceased because she couldn’t stand the idea of gaining...

Barn Birthing Centers Gaining Popularity Across Nation

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BROOKLYN, IA – A new birthing option for expectant mothers is currently taking the nation by storm.  Barn birthing will soon supplant the water birth as...
nurse spies

JCAHO Recruits “Nurse Spies”

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WASHINGTON, DC - A reliable source tells GomerBlog that JCAHO is unhappy about too many hospitals passing their inspections and has started to build...