Nursing

Patient in Room 3 Worried After Code Blues in 1, 2, 4 & 5

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ATLANTA, GA - “Oh God oh God oh God!” is what Tim McConnell said to himself in a fit of paranoia after a fourth...

Hospital’s Electronic Health Record to Be Replaced by New, Efficient ‘Paper Chart’ System

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NEW YORK, NY – Citing slow load times, confusing menu structure, and overall frustration with the user interface, St. Barnaby’s Hospital has announced that the...
graham crackers

97% of World’s Graham Cracker Supply Located in Hospital Drawers, White Coat Pockets

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BOUND BROOK, NJ - A study in the latest issue of the New England Journal of Snack Foods (NEJSF) has confirmed that 97% of...

Nurses’ Poker Tournament Cancelled Due to Cardiac Arrest

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SEATTLE, WA - In a disappointing turn of events, nurses were forced to cancel their weekly poker tournament when a patient unexpectedly went into...
angry nurse

Top 10 Ways to Really Piss Your Nurse Off

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Ever wonder how you can really piss off your nurse taking care of you in the hospital?  If you are like most of us,...

Local ER Offering Pain Meds Freebased, or Heated on a Spoon and Injected

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NORFOLK, VA – Local ER is now offering patients the option of their pain medication freebased or heated on a spoon and injected.  “We...
stage 5 pressure ulcer wound dressing wound care don't care

After Meticulously Changing Wound Dressing, Nurse Looks Forward to Doctor Immediately Effing It Up

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BIRMINGHAM, AL - After taking 20 minutes to meticulously clean and beautifully redress an elderly patient's dressing over her sacral decubitus wound, nurse Brittany...
nurse reprimanded

Nurse Cures Cancer; Reprimanded for Breaking Protocol

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ORLANDO, FL - While looking at some lab values in conjunction with scientific research for her NP program, Nurse Francine Marcus miraculously found the...
ICU nurse

Seasoned ICU Nurse Forces Interns to Hand Over Computer Password to Correctly Enter Orders

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CHATTANOOGA, TN – Veteran ICU nurse, Susan Billings, has been working in the ICU for over 25 years now and she is fed up with inaccurate...

Mutated Pediatric Names Linked to Higher Mortality

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ATLANTA, GA - The lead article in this month’s Journal of Pediatric Critical Care started with a few simple observations. "I had two patients in...