Pediatrics

Doctors, Nurses in Disbelief as Even Infants Are Drug-Seeking

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ATLANTA, GA - Well, folks, now we’ve seen it all.  GomerBlog is sad to break the unfortunate news that the world is descending into total darkness and evil, as doctors and nurses at Atlanta...
vaccination

Breaking: Reports Emerge About An Uneventful MMR Vaccination

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ROCHESTER, NY - In what was internationally hailed as a medical first, doctors at Mount Saint Mary Mercy Hospital announced they are confident a child has survived the measles, mumps, rubella (MMR) vaccine without...

Fancy Medical Terms and What They Really Mean

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Nurses and doctors use fancy words to communicate and sound smart before patients, families and each other. Having spent most of his adult life in the hospital, Livin La Vida Locum, M.D. shares the...

Lost Your Car in the Hospital Garage? Order a Consult

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If it has happened once, it has happened a million times: you forgot where you parked.  It is the end of the day and all you want to do is go home but where...
Cheetos

Cheetos for Pediatric Abdominal Pain Better Than Zofran, Phenergan

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DALLAS, TX - A recent study in Totally Peer Reviewed (TPR) shows that in acute abdominal pain, Cheetos not only treat, but in many cases are curative for acute abdominal pain, especially in pediatric...
graham crackers

97% of World’s Graham Cracker Supply Located in Hospital Drawers, White Coat Pockets

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BOUND BROOK, NJ - A study in the latest issue of the New England Journal of Snack Foods (NEJSF) has confirmed that 97% of the world's graham cracker supply is located somewhere in a...
pediatrician

Local Pediatric Clinic Finds It Can Cut Visit Time Down by Skipping All Those...

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With insurance company reimbursements plummeting like doctors jumping off five story parking complexes, appointments must be at least 35% shorter. A local innovative practice is leading the way with 3.5 minute appointments. The solution?...

Psychic Hired to Read Patients’ Minds, Doctor Visit Time Reduced

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BATON ROUGE, LA -- Do you think doctors ask weird questions—like “Do you have any problems with your kidneys?” Or ones that are hard to answer—like “How long have you had this pain?” Land-Phyll...
CDC headquarters, ignore, sit-up, sit-ups, anti-vaxxer cooties, pictures 2,300 words, eat sh*t and die, hypodermic needles, bed bugs, vanco, Zosyn, Lego, flu shot, exhalation, baseline, Vaseline, scabies

CDC Advises Robert De Niro To Be Sent To Jail Until Deemed Safe

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ATLANTA, GA - Last week Robert De Niro pushed for the Andrew Wakefield (yes, that Wakefield) film Vaxxed to be screened.  "We need to have the conversation about 'safe' vaccines."  De Niro claims that we should have...

Medical Team Sues Difficult Patient for Pain & Suffering

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BIRMINGHAM, AL - Sometimes enough is enough.  A multidisciplinary inpatient medical team at Birmingham Medical Center (BMC) is taking difficult patient and frequent flyer Jason Johnson to court, suing him for pain & suffering. “I can’t...