Crisis Brewing as Unit 61’s Coffee Machine Broken
SEATTLE, WA - A huge crisis is brewing at Arabica Medical Center this morning as medical staff have discovered that the hospital’s best coffee machine, which is located on Unit 61, is not working. ...
After 25th Stain, Doctor Finally Decides to Wash White Coat
NEW YORK, NY - Physician Joel Winters had not washed his white coat in over 10 years. However, after acquiring a 25th stain today while caring for a patient with profuse C. diff diarrhea,...
Nostalgic Pharmacists Yearn for Good ‘Ole Days of Illegible Doctors’ Prescriptions
NEW ORLEANS, LA - Though pharmacists appreciate the progress that has been made with electronic health records (EHR) and e-prescriptions over the past two decades, many admit they kind of miss the good ‘ole...
Urgent Care to Install Drive Thru Window
ATLANTA, GA - An urgent care center in Atlanta, GA will be the first in the nation to provide drive-thru service as part of a new, innovative way to increase health care efficiency. Instead...
The Epic EHR Bartender
Patron: I’d like a beer.
Epic: Wait until I log on… (30 seconds) Welcome to Hyperspace!
Patron: I’d like a beer.
Epic: Pick from this list.
Patron: Hmm… I’ll have a Mirror Pond.
Epic: What size?
Patron: It comes in...
Doctors Still Unclear Why Right Said Fred So Sexy It Hurts
LONDON, ENGLAND - Despite a battery of noninvasive and invasive diagnostic tests, doctors at London Medical Center remain puzzled, as they are still unclear why British dance-pop group Right Said Fred are so sexy it...
Fashion Police: Hospital Edition Weighs in on Fanny Packs
In the most recent installment of Fashion Police: Hospital Edition, host Kathy Griffin along with commentators Giuliana Rancic, Kelly Osbourne, and special guest Jennifer Lawrence, discussed and debated the fanny pack for all medical...
Average American Healthcare Consumer Believes Death is Curable
ATLANTA, GA - According to a new study published in the Annals of External Medicine (AEM), it is reported that the average American health care consumer (AAHC) believes both death and disability are curable...
Rectal Exam Nuisance: New Product Changing the Way We Look at Cheeks
MIAMI, FL - A new product by Telameto Corporation has emergency practitioners cheering for joy. The inefficiencies of the rectal exam will quickly be history with the Guaiak Sleeve. No more than half a...
Depressed Skull Fracture Patient Started on Zoloft Drip, Psychiatry Referral
ALBINA, OR - An area resident covering the ED recently treated a patient with chief complaint of "depressed skull fracture," by prescribing IV sertraline and paging the psychiatry resident. Brought in by paramedics late...