TSA to Start Screening for Colorectal Cancer at Airports
ATLANTA, GA – U.S. government officials said on Thursday that they would start screening patients for unintentional weight loss and bloody stools, starting with Hartsfield-Jackson International (ATL) airport this coming weekend, in an effort...
Amidst Obesity Epidemic, Task Force Creates Glasgow Food Coma Scale
ATLANTA, GA - In response to the public health crisis of food comas resulting from the ongoing obesity epidemic, the 3N Joint Task Force, which is comprised of several of the nation’s leading experts...
American Geriatrics Association Publishes Guidelines on Gomeritis
The American Geriatrics Association has finally published its guidelines on gomeritis, a complex entity caused by the progressive deterioration of a gomerular brain. A brief summary follows:
Gomeritis is a complex clinical entity and should...
Geriatric Patient Miraculously Survives a 4-Day Weekend in the Hospital
NORTH PLATTE, NE - It was a true Christmas miracle for geriatric patient, Alfred Dwindles, when he found himself alive and without significant healthcare-induced harm this morning, 4 nights after being admitted to the...
New KwikChek ED Expected to be a Hit
BALTIMORE, MD - A revolutionary new emergency department will be tested soon in the Second Memorial Semi-Regional Healthcare Center and Annexes. "We took functional components from the car wash and car manufacturing industries’ business...
Santa Claus In Serious Condition After Chimney Incident & Sleep Apnea Complications
THE NORTH POLE - GomerBlog can confirm that Santa Claus is recovering, but remains in serious condition, at North Pole Community Hospital after an incident when he became wedged in a chimney at his multi-million-dollar practice...
Update: Cookie Monster Leaves Sesame Street Hospital AMA on Christmas Eve
SESAME STREET – As children around the world continued to hold candlelight vigils for Cookie Monster’s health, the shocking rumors that the muppet had left Sesame Street University Hospital (SSUH) against medical advice (AMA) are...
Snoop Dogg Completes Geriatrics Fellowship
LONG BEACH, CA - After seemingly vanishing from the public eye for over a decade, former rapper Calvin "Snoop Dogg" Broadus announced that he is now ready to practice as an officially trained geriatrician....
Work Holiday Party to Celebrate Another Year of Resignations, Broken Promises
FREEHOLD, NJ - CEO John Watkins of Freehold Medical Center is set to throw another epic end-of-the-year holiday party for his hospital and healthcare employees in an annual tradition of celebrating yet another year of...
Horse Veterinarian-Turned-Physician Prescribing Too Many Large Pills and Euthanasia
BALTIMORE, MD – Former top equine veterinarian for race horses and now turned top physician, Dr. Zack Berger of Johns Hopkins, has been called out by his colleagues for his unusual practices.
Whistleblower and colleague, Dr....