After Binging on Pizza and Beer, Local Man Claims to Have Gluten Allergy
BERKELEY, CA – Local resident Charles Longfellow is no stranger to beer. “A typical weekend I’ll go through a couple cases,” he told reporters...
Mother Furious With OB Nurse Who Mispronounced Her Baby’s Name
PORTLAND, OR - "Simply Outrageous!" Those were comments on a patient survey card by a mother regarding an OB nurse at Mercy Care Hospital yesterday on the 6th floor. ...
Archaeologist: Ancient Group Claimed Drinking Clean Water Caused Diarrhea
A landmark discovery in southern France occurred this Saturday: scientists uncovered a series of caves that may have been inhabited by humans over 15,000 years...
Elephant Complains of Chest Pain ‘Like a Human Sitting on My Chest’
NEW YORK, NY - At approximately 6:00 AM this morning, a local elephant named Eli the Elephant developed excruciating ten out of ten chest...
Hospital’s Electronic Health Record to Be Replaced by New, Efficient ‘Paper Chart’ System
NEW YORK, NY – Citing slow load times, confusing menu structure, and overall frustration with the user interface, St. Barnaby’s Hospital has announced that the...
Study: Narcotic Script Has a 95% Chance of Running Out on a Weekend
DURHAM, NC – Researchers at Duke University have discovered that a typical 30-day supply of Vicodin or Percocet has a 95.3% chance of running...
Local ED Refuses to Take Care of Firework Injuries This July 4th
NEW BERN, NC - A local New Bern emergency department has made it abundantly clear to the town that they will be refusing to...
Hobby Lobby’s Pharmacies Continue to Sell Birth Control While Denying Workers Coverage
OKLAHOMA, OK - Hobby Lobby's pharmacies will continue to sell contraceptives after the company's recent Supreme Court victory. "The contraceptive business, I mean craft...
Study: Laughter Truly is the Best Medicine, Except for Cases of Severe Diarrhea
SAN ANTONIO, TX – A new study published in The Medicine Journal demonstrated that laughter truly is the best medicine for medical aliments. The study...
Doctors and Nurses Fight Back: Proposal to Link Hospital CEO Salaries to Employee Satisfaction...
CHICAGO, IL – State senators in Illinois voted yesterday 45 to 14 in favor of a new proposal put together by physicians, nurses, and other...