$1.3 Billion Saved by Eliminating Common Greetings in Patient Encounters Claim Managed Care Administrators
NEWPORT, RI - Managed care administrators have calculated that if physicians eliminate common greetings towards patients in the exam room, savings could mount in the billions. Common greetings such as "How are you doing?"...
Waiting Room Questionnaires Actually Giant Distraction
PHILADELPHIA, PA - Doctor’s offices around the country use questionnaires and multiple intake-sheets in their offices. Sometimes filling out these forms can take upwards of 40 minutes. A typical waiting room in the US will have...
Hospital Custodial Manager: ‘I Love Irritating the S**t Out of Them’
CLEVELAND, OH - GomerBlog reporters are able to confirm that custodial staff at Memorial Hospital do indeed intentionally buff floors and clean bathrooms at the most inopportune time. Head custodial manager Wilson Mayers accidentally...
Patient Allergic to Epinephrine, Dies When Doctor Suddenly Slams Door
HAMPTON, NJ - Local resident Shelly McDonald died suddenly on Thursday when she was at her doctor's office. Her doctor is currently being charged with malpractice on several accounts. According to sources, Shelly was checking Facebook on...
Local Health System Admits to Scaring Away Older Physicians with Technology
LAS VEGAS, NV - When faced with the difficult work of encouraging some older, higher paid doctors to retire (so they could be replaced with younger, cheaper doctors), Allouette Health Systems decided on a...
Man Pretends to Have Heroin Addiction Just to Go to Rehab
SAN DIEGO, CA - 37-year-old respiratory therapist, Jonathan Mildersten, like many other working at University Hospital, was getting burned out. Pay was decreasing and vacation days slashed to help keep costs down. Mildersten was forced...
Pseudoseizure: Please Practice Before Coming to the ED
MILWAUKEE, WI - Emergency department staff at Elm Grove Methodist Medical Center thoroughly enjoyed the complete nonsensical seizure performance by a local homemaker.
Carol Whitaker, 43, of Wauwatosa presented to the Emergency Department yesterday with what she...
Hospital Taking Patient Satisfaction Scores Way Too Seriously
CHICAGO, IL - "Simply outrageous," were comments expressed by physicians and nurses in regards to how hospital administrators were implementing new management policies at Mercy Hospital. Administrators are informing GomerBlog that the changes to patient care...
Easter Not Recognized as Holiday, Riots Ensue at Catholic Hospital
HOSPITAL OF THE RESURRECTION - Religion is not a quiet affair at this institution. Morning and evening prayers are broadcasted over the PA system at 3 a.m. and 3 p.m. every day to better...
Nursing Home STDs on the Rise, and I Just Threw Up a Little in...
ATHENS, GA - "Simply disgusting," was one man’s response to hearing about nursing home sexually-transmitted diseases (STDs) on the rise. "A little warning, next time before just giving me that headline, please. I honestly...