graham crackers

97% of World’s Graham Cracker Supply Located in Hospital Drawers, White Coat Pockets

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BOUND BROOK, NJ - A study in the latest issue of the New England Journal of Snack Foods (NEJSF) has confirmed that 97% of the world's graham cracker supply is located somewhere in a...

Brave Patient Speaks Up About Lower Back Pain

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LOS GATOS, CA – Mrs. Ann Oyin is a 82-year-old librarian who presented to her PCP for a cold that wasn’t getting any better. Dave Busey, a medicine intern, was working in the clinic...
black jacket

Long White Coats to be Officially Replaced By Black Fleece Jackets

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CHICAGO, IL - The long white coat has long been a symbol of a young doctor’s achievement in completing medical school and entering residency.  However, residents from all over the country have forgone the...
Turlaudidryl, BDT

Patients Love New Turkey Sandwich with Dilaudid & Benadryl: The Turlaudidryl Special

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NEW ORLEANS, LA - In a brilliant new campaign to improve patient satisfaction scores at the expense of appropriate medical care, hospital administrators and dining services have collaborated on a new turkey sandwich.  It’s...

Area LEGO Man Admitted with Bright Red Blocks Per Rectum

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LEGOLAND, FL - An area LEGO man is in serious condition at LEGOLAND Medical Center after he presented to the emergency department (ED) with bright red blocks per rectum (BRBPR).  "He had 3 episodes...

Med Student Performs History & Physical on Broken Fax Machine

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ATLANTA, GA - It was an unusually slow day and second-year medical student Bryan Orlando bugged his inpatient medicine team for a new patient to work-up, eager to hone in his skills.  Annoyed by...
mad cow

Neurosurgery Intern Eager for First Solo Case: Creutzfeldt-Jakob Disease Biopsy

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KANSAS CITY, KS - Two weeks out of medical school, newly-minted neurosurgery intern Bill Magoo is already getting his first solo operative case and he is elated. “Everyone says in the interview, ‘Oh we will...

Medical Team Sues Difficult Patient for Pain & Suffering

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BIRMINGHAM, AL - Sometimes enough is enough.  A multidisciplinary inpatient medical team at Birmingham Medical Center (BMC) is taking difficult patient and frequent flyer Jason Johnson to court, suing him for pain & suffering. “I can’t...
medical pager

Pages We Love to Get at Any Point During the Day

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These are probably the best pages any health care professional can ask for! "We're building forts out of drapes, wanna join?! - Anesthesia, OR 4" "Go home, I'm gonna write ur notes today - Hospital Administrator" "Patient...

Case Report: OB/GYN Resident Not Always Catty, Actually Is Relatively Friendly

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BOCA RATON, FL - Medical students across the nation have been bewildered by the outrageous report that local OB/GYN Ann Hedonia is only catty on occasion, and actually is kind-of-sort-of relatively nice.  Student extraordinaire Gunner...