Countdown of the Top 10 Things Found in the Rectum
In a style similar to family feud, we surveyed people who like to shove things in places, and also the surgeons who need to remove them, to try and come up with a top...
Conversation Starters While Scrubbing For Surgery with Your Attending
Scrubbing before surgery can be an awkward time for residents who have to spend up to 5 uninterrupted minutes standing next to an attending while you both wash your hands. Casual conversation can be...
Cardiothoracic Surgeon Identifies as Medical Student, Crushes Surgery Rotation
When asked if she felt like she had an unfair advantage against clearly weaker competition, Dr. Beer was unapologetic. “I felt like a student in my heart so I was just living my true self.”
Brian Williams: I Performed the First Heart Transplant
NBC - Reports have recently surfaced that NBC news anchor, Brian Williams, claimed to have performed the first heart transplant in 1967. In a broadcast in 2001 about then Vice President Dick Cheney's heart,...
Da Vinci on Quest to Rescue Princess Toadstool
WORLD 2-4, MUSHROOM KINGDOM - We have just received word that the Da Vinci Surgical Robot has embarked on a quest to save Princess Toadstool, as Super Mario remains in tough condition after a...
Stryker Surgical Snacks, The Perfect OR Treat
DALLAS, TX – Stryker Surgical just released a new line bound to please every orthopedic surgeon, anesthesiologist, CRNA, OR nurse, surgical tech, and yes, even make the general surgeons happy too. They’re called Stryker...
Nation’s Arteries Brace for Impact of Chipotle’s New Queso
SACRAMENTO, CA – Speaking at a press conference last Saturday, a local left renal artery expressed “grave concern” amongst itself and the billions of arteries & arterioles across the United States in response to...
Anesthesiologists Compare Arm Tans While Surgeon Repairs Penetrating Aortic Injury
ATLANTA, GA – As local trauma surgeon Dr. Andre Mackersie desperately tried to gain control of a massively exsanguinating abdominal aortic gunshot wound, the anesthesiologists on the other side of the sterile drape were...
General Surgeon Moves Clinic to Operating Room, Cites Excessive Patient Consciousness
CEDAR RAPIDS, IA – Jacob Townsend, a 53-year-old general surgeon, has decided to permanently move his clinic to the operating room due to ongoing disruption from patient consciousness. “Allowing my patients to talk about...
State Medical Board Disciplines Dr. Oz by Forcing Him Back to Clinical Practice
NEW YORK, NY - In a stunning conclusion to an ongoing debate about the future of Dr. Oz, the state medical board investigating him announced that they have agreed on the proper reprimand for...
