Thursday, July 9, 2020

Neurosurgery

Stryker Surgical Snacks, The Perfect OR Treat

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DALLAS, TX – Stryker Surgical just released a new line bound to please every orthopedic surgeon, anesthesiologist, CRNA, OR nurse, surgical tech, and yes, even make the general surgeons happy too.  They’re called Stryker...

Physician Recruitment Ad Statements and What They Really Mean

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Ad text Actual meaning Established medical center is a state of the art, modern, newly renovated hospital   The MRI works 12 hours out of the week, and the cost of that new fountain in the lobby will...

Fancy Medical Terms and What They Really Mean

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Nurses and doctors use fancy words to communicate and sound smart before patients, families and each other. Having spent most of his adult life in the hospital, Livin La Vida Locum, M.D. shares the...

Endangered VA System Named 60th U.S. National Park

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WASHINGTON, D.C. - In an effort to preserve one of the United States' most endangered areas for future generations, President Obama signed a law making the Veterans Health Administration (VA) the 60th National Park...
brain surgery

Neurosurgeon Jokes “It’s Not Brain Surgery” for the First Time in History

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SAN FRANCISCO, CA - In a combination of medical brilliance and creative genius, neurosurgeon Francesco Hernandez has spontaneously invented a joke that has just been awarded Most Original Joke of All Time (MOJAT) by...
cervical spine

Medical Student Dislocates C-Spine Due to Overzealous Nodding

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BOSTON, MA - Medical students are being warned after James Pharrier, a 22-year-old student at University Medicale, suffered an atlanto-occipital joint dislocation upon over-zealously pseudo-affirming his understanding of the loop of Henle.  Students were...
mad cow

Neurosurgery Intern Eager for First Solo Case: Creutzfeldt-Jakob Disease Biopsy

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KANSAS CITY, KS - Two weeks out of medical school, newly-minted neurosurgery intern Bill Magoo is already getting his first solo operative case and he is elated. “Everyone says in the interview, ‘Oh we will...
fast train

Tips: How to Perform a Spinal Tap on a Moving Train

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I have to admit: spinal taps (lumbar punctures) are not one of my favorite procedures to perform.  I’m fairly certain our patients don’t enjoy them either.  Now imagine performing the procedure on a high-speed...

If Elected President, Dr. Ben Carson Plans to Continue Use of PAs & Impenetrable...

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BALTIMORE, MD - Dr. Ben Carson’s campaign for President is gaining steam, so much so that last week his physician assistant spokesperson needed to answer questions about whether the retired neurosurgeon has the political...
skull fracture

Depressed Skull Fracture Patient Started on Zoloft Drip, Psychiatry Referral

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ALBINA, OR - An area resident covering the ED recently treated a patient with chief complaint of "depressed skull fracture," by prescribing IV sertraline and paging the psychiatry resident.  Brought in by paramedics late...
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