Department of Labor
208 Shares

BROOKLYN, NYOB/GYNs at New York Methodist Hospital are reassuring New Yorkers that the pains felt at the Department of Labor on Schermerhorn Street are only due to Brixton Hicks contractions.

Department of Labor Braxton Hicks
Is that supposed to be a stork or bald eagle?

“It can be worrisome to expecting mothers not close to their due date to think that something is wrong,” explained obstetrician Chris Hoyt.  “Thankfully, as we expected, these sporadic uterine contractions, also known as Braxton Hicks contractions, are the culprit.  The uterus is preparing itself for the eventuality of birth.  As for the Department of Labor?  No labor just yet.”

The Department of Labor was advised to stay hydrated, practice rhythmic breathing exercises, and ensure complete urination to prevent contractions; and lie on its left side to alleviate contractions.

The Department of Labor’s due date is September 4, 2017.

image_pdfimage_print
208 Shares

Tags:

  • Dr. 99

    First there was Dr. 01, the first robot physician, created to withstand toxic levels of burnout in an increasingly mechanistic and impossibly demanding healthcare field. Dr. 99 builds upon the advances of its ninety-eight predecessors by phasing out all human emotion, innovation, and creativity completely, and focusing solely on pre-programmed protocols and volume-based productivity. In its spare time, Dr. 99 enjoys writing for Gomerblog and listening to Taylor Swift.

  • Show Comments

208 Shares