The Meaning of “Covfefe” by Medical Subspecialty

The world remains baffled: first President Donald Trump tweeted the term “covfefe,” then orthopedic resident Ken Wilker writes the one-word note “covfefe.”  What does it mean?  Depends who you ask.  Gomerblog asked medical subspecialties what they thought “covfefe” means and here’s what they guessed.

Allergy: A third-generation antihistamine.

Anesthesiology: New airway classification system to replace Mallampati.

Bariatric Surgery: Synonymous with panniculus.

Cardiology: Acronym for cardiac output v–fib ejection fraction ectopy?

Cardiothoracic Surgery: A technically-difficult CABG.

Critical Care: Code for “botched intubation.”

Dermatology: A malignant skin lesion.

Emergency Medicine: Drug seeker.

Endocrine: The latest DPP-4 inhibitor.

ENT: Used interchangeably with “oral cavity.”

Ethics: A conundrum or dilemma.

Family Medicine: Nuclear family.

Gastrointestinal: A method of removing polyps.

General Surgery: Akin to an obstruction, initially treated with conservative management.

Hematology: An urgent order given in response to anemia, it means “cover with iron, IRON!!”

Hospitalist: A patient who is a rock.

Infectious Diseases: The Covfefe virus is an acute serious illness that is fatal if left untreated.

Nephrology: Modified version of the Cockcroft-Gault equation.

Neurology: Part of the basal ganglia, located between the caudate and putamen.

Neurosurgery: Infected VP shunt.

Nursing: Either stands for “contact precautions for fevers, felines” or is a new curse muttered when the IV starts beeping.

Nutrition: Sorta like Boost or Ensure.

OB/GYN: A really terrible yeast infection.

Occupational Therapy: A patient who won’t cooperate or participate.

Oncology: Another word for metastasis.

Ophthalmology: A layer of cones.

Orthopedic Surgery: The 207th bone in the human body.

Palliative Care: Slang for “medical power of attorney.”

Pathology: Three consecutive frozen sections.

Pediatrics: A stuffed animal.

Pharmacy: A unit of measure equal to 30 milligrams.

Physical Therapy: Like a commode.  As in a 3-in-1 covfefe.

Plastic Surgery: A rare material used in breast implants.

Psychiatry: Acute psychosis.

Pulmonary: A lot of phlegm.

Radiology: Shorthand for “clinically correlate.”

Rheumatology: A connective tissue disorder that responds well to steroids.

Social Services: A type of form that needs to be filled out prior to placement.

Speech Therapy: When a patient fails a modified barium swallow.

Trauma: Another term for “circling the drain.”

Urology: A urologic emergency, similar to priapism.

Vascular Surgery: Sorta like a bruit, but not quite.