Orthopedics

The Definitive Bone Rankings

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Globogym Headquarters, CA- It’s interview season for 4th year Medical Students applying for residencies and every area of medicine has a beloved question that every applicant is asked without fail. Each question has a...
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Orthopedic Surgeon Celebrates Transfusing Patient to 100% Hematocrit

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DENVER, CO - Ortho spine surgeon Brik Bowers recently set the all-time record by transfusing his post-op patient to a hematocrit of 100%.  Bowers was found at his victory party, galloping around the room,...
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Orthopod Caught Listening to Femur with Stethoscope

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ATLANTA, GA - In an awkward moment at a patient's bedside earlier today, orthopedic surgeon Thor Hammersley was caught doing what can only be described as a head-scratcher: auscultating his patient's surgically-repaired femur with a stethoscope. "I...

Orthopedic Surgeon Accidentally Intubates Patient in OR

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MANSFIELD, OH - In a bizarre reversal of fate, a local orthopaedic surgeon accidentally inserted an endotracheal tube into a patient’s airway while draping out the patient for a hardware removal. Dr. Aricks Lunchbocks was...
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An Orthopedic Surgeon Explains: Diastolic Heart Failure

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Brosefs and lady folk: It seems that every now and then we have to deal with something other than the bones.  As you can imagine, this is sub-optimal at best. Because bones.  Anywhoo, I've been...
orthopedic surgeon ripping phone book bieps

Orthopod Bewildered by Internist with Bigger Biceps

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LOS ANGELES, CA - "How can it be??!!" wondered orthopedic surgeon Thor Hammersley, scratching his noggin with his oversized mitts.  "Thor don't understand!"  You see, Hammersley has just spotted a true anomaly walking the...

Too Much Pressure: Masseuse Breaks All 206 Bones in Client’s Body

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OKLAHOMA CITY, OK - Despite the request to use only light-to-medium pressure during a one hour deep tissue massage, masseuse Lindsey Wang has gone overboard and accidentally broken all 206 bones in her client Gabby...
patient in hospital

Rare Patient Asks Only for Tylenol for Pain, Receives Standing Ovation

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ATLANTA, GA - Chelsea Mason is one amazing woman.  Only 12 hours removed from a knee replacement surgery for severe osteoarthritis, Mason has left her medical team at Emory University completely flabbergasted by stating...
hospitalist place

Hospitalist Explains: Hip Fracture

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Orthopedics can be complicated. Thankfully, Dr. Hal Dole, after passing his IM boards also completed a Fellowship in: Optimization, Restoration, Transition and Hyperalimentation of Organ Malfunction Emanating from Surgical Sequelae and Surprises: ORTHO-MESSS. There,...
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Breaking News: Orthopod Places Ex Fix on Ex Fix

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SEATTLE, WA - Questioning if the external fixation device (or ex fix) placed on a patient’s leg is stable enough for the job, Harborview Medical Center orthopod Brock Hammersley made history today by becoming the...