Orthopedics

Introducing the ‘Dude-Vinci,’ The 1st Robot for Orthopedic Surgery

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DAYTON, OH - A cutting-edge surgical robot has been approved by the FDA and purchased for use in the orthopedic suite at a local...
orthopedic resident

Orthopedic Resident Suspended for Not Logging Romantic Endeavors

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NEW YORK, NY - Richard Steel, a PGY-4 orthopaedic resident in New York City, was suspended from duties after failing to log his dates...

U.S. Women’s Relay Team Elects to Use Femur, Not Baton for Handoffs

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RIO DE JANEIRO, BRAZIL - For this week's upcoming track and field event, the USA Track & Field Women's 4x100m Team has announced that it has...
orthopedic surgeon

Orthopedic Note Simply Says “Covfefe”

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SYRACUSE, NY - Last night at approximately 2 AM, an orthopedic resident on call at St. Francis Hospital dropped a post-operative check note in...

Orthopaedic Surgeon Spends Hours Wandering ICU Bathroom Looking for Pulmonary Toilet

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NEW YORK, NY - When COVID-19 cases in Manhattan started ramping up, local orthopaedic surgeon Brock Hammersley knew he wanted to help however he...
sprained ankle

The Difference Between RICE & Rice

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Today, we distinguish between another two often-confused entities: RICE and rice. RICE is an acronym that stands for Rest, Ice, Compression, and Elevation.  RICE is...
external fixator

Ortho Stabilizes Stethoscope with External Fixator

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LOS ANGELES, CA - Stating overwhelming concern over the flimsy nature of medicine colleague Louis Lefebvre's stethoscope, orthopedic surgeon Brock Hammersley has successfully stabilized...

Crooked Hillary Actually Suffering From Severe Scoliosis

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CHAPPAQUA, NY - Former Democratic Presidential Candidate Hillary Clinton’s Spine Surgeon today revealed that President Donald Trump’s calling her “Crooked Hillary” on the campaign...
gout

Area Emergency Physician Successfully Manages Gout Without Consultation

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SALT LAKE CITY, UT - Confetti is raining down from the ceilings as emergency medicine physician Deion Gnosis is being congratulated for diagnosing and...
Arrival heptopods orthopods Louise Banks

‘Arrival’ Heroine, Dr. Louise Banks, Tries to Decipher Wordless Language of Orthopods

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MONTANA - After playing a critical role in deciphering the language of the alien squid-like heptopods as chronicled in last year's real-life documentary Arrival,...