Introducing the ‘Dude-Vinci,’ The 1st Robot for Orthopedic Surgery
DAYTON, OH - A cutting-edge surgical robot has been approved by the FDA and purchased for use in the orthopedic suite at a local hospital.
The Dude-Vinci is perfectly calibrated to assist any orthopedic surgeon....
Orthopedic Resident Suspended for Not Logging Romantic Endeavors
NEW YORK, NY - Richard Steel, a PGY-4 orthopaedic resident in New York City, was suspended from duties after failing to log his dates from the beginning of residency. As per the new ACGME...
U.S. Women’s Relay Team Elects to Use Femur, Not Baton for Handoffs
RIO DE JANEIRO, BRAZIL - For this week's upcoming track and field event, the USA Track & Field Women's 4x100m Team has announced that it has decided against using a traditional baton and, like London 2012,...
Orthopedic Note Simply Says “Covfefe”
SYRACUSE, NY - Last night at approximately 2 AM, an orthopedic resident on call at St. Francis Hospital dropped a post-operative check note in the chart for a TKA patient that has baffled experts...
Orthopaedic Surgeon Spends Hours Wandering ICU Bathroom Looking for Pulmonary Toilet
NEW YORK, NY - When COVID-19 cases in Manhattan started ramping up, local orthopaedic surgeon Brock Hammersley knew he wanted to help however he could.
So he went to the ICU at Elmhurst Hospital and...
The Difference Between RICE & Rice
Today, we distinguish between another two often-confused entities: RICE and rice.
RICE is an acronym that stands for Rest, Ice, Compression, and Elevation. RICE is often used to treat musculoskeletal injuries such as sprains and...
Ortho Stabilizes Stethoscope with External Fixator
LOS ANGELES, CA - Stating overwhelming concern over the flimsy nature of medicine colleague Louis Lefebvre's stethoscope, orthopedic surgeon Brock Hammersley has successfully stabilized it for now with an external fixation device or external...
Crooked Hillary Actually Suffering From Severe Scoliosis
CHAPPAQUA, NY - Former Democratic Presidential Candidate Hillary Clinton’s Spine Surgeon today revealed that President Donald Trump’s calling her “Crooked Hillary” on the campaign trail was actually a reference to her excessive spinal curvature.
“Ms....
Area Emergency Physician Successfully Manages Gout Without Consultation
SALT LAKE CITY, UT - Confetti is raining down from the ceilings as emergency medicine physician Deion Gnosis is being congratulated for diagnosing and treating a patient with an oft-confusing medical condition completely on...
‘Arrival’ Heroine, Dr. Louise Banks, Tries to Decipher Wordless Language of Orthopods
MONTANA - After playing a critical role in deciphering the language of the alien squid-like heptopods as chronicled in last year's real-life documentary Arrival, world-renowned linguist and heroine Dr. Louise Banks takes on her...