Da Vinci on Quest to Rescue Princess Toadstool
WORLD 2-4, MUSHROOM KINGDOM - We have just received word that the Da Vinci Surgical Robot has embarked on a quest to save Princess Toadstool, as Super Mario remains in tough condition after a...
Orthopod Has Near-Death Experience Until Internist Responds to Call for Doctor Mid-Flight
SOMEWHERE OVER THE PACIFIC OCEAN - Dr. Brock Hammersley felt nauseated and sweaty and experienced the feeling of an elephant sitting on his chest with a sense of impending doom while flying to Hawaii this...
U.S. Women’s Relay Team Elects to Use Femur, Not Baton for Handoffs
RIO DE JANEIRO, BRAZIL - For this week's upcoming track and field event, the USA Track & Field Women's 4x100m Team has announced that it has decided against using a traditional baton and, like London 2012,...
Orthopedics Consults Infectious Diseases for Potential Computer Virus
NEW ORLEANS, LA - Dr. Joseph Dell of Orthopedic Surgery was hoping it would be a calm day; no surgeries were scheduled and his clinic schedule today was surprisingly light. After two months of...
Orthopaedic Surgeon Pays $400,000 to Prevent Son From Matching Into Ophthalmology Residency
BOSTON, MA - Inspired by the recent college admissions cheating scandal, local Orthopaedic Surgeon Brock Hammersley took matters into his own hands when his son ranked only Ophthalmology residencies in the ACGME Match.
“I couldn’t...
The Difference Between RICE & Rice
Today, we distinguish between another two often-confused entities: RICE and rice.
RICE is an acronym that stands for Rest, Ice, Compression, and Elevation. RICE is often used to treat musculoskeletal injuries such as sprains and...
Flint’s Water is Corrosive and Full of Lead: What Do You Think?
Flint Michigan's water has been full of lead since 2014, just recently they declared it to be a national emergency. What are the medical health professionals saying?
We asked around the hospital to see what...
Women to be recruited into ortho with promise of no line for bathroom
The American Academy of Orthopaedic Surgeons has begun a new campaign to entice women to enter a career in orthopaedic surgery. Dr. David Bonaparte, diversity coordinator for the AAOS, believes the new campaign will...
Orthopedic Resident Suspended for Not Logging Romantic Endeavors
NEW YORK, NY - Richard Steel, a PGY-4 orthopaedic resident in New York City, was suspended from duties after failing to log his dates from the beginning of residency. As per the new ACGME...
Mother Devastated to Learn Son’s Femur is Broken and Fractured
WILLMAR, MN - Local mother, self-proclaimed Domestic Goddess, PTA President, and Essential Oils saleswoman Hilda Larson was absolutely crushed this past week when she learned that her son's thigh bone was not only broken...