Surgery

Orthopedic Surgeon Accidentally Intubates Patient in OR

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MANSFIELD, OH - In a bizarre reversal of fate, a local orthopaedic surgeon accidentally inserted an endotracheal tube into a patient’s airway while draping...

Surgery is Delayed Due to Lack of “Time In” After Time Out

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SAN JOSE, CA - OR 12 experienced a three-hour delay for what was supposed to be a 7 am start on a Tuesday morning...
hip replacement third arm

Orthopod Replaces Patient’s Hip with a Third Arm

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PHILADELPHIA, PA - Feeling that his career was in a rut, orthopod Brock Hammersley decided to spice things up a bit.  Today, instead of...
absolute zero Kelvin

Breaking: Surgeon Sets OR Temperature to Absolute Zero (-273.15° Celsius)

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MIAMI, FL - General surgeon Thomas Rauch has entered into the Surgery Hall of Fame (SHOF) today after setting the temperature in his operating...

The American Medical Association’s New Guidelines for Treating Millennials

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Though medicine continues to advance with new technologies and innovations, one invaluable tool has withstood the test of time: the medical interview. The medical...
attending physician

Doctor Horrified to Learn That Today’s Actually Thursday, Not Friday

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NEW YORK, NY - Colleagues are watching in stunned silence as Mount Sinai Hospital hospitalist Valerie Owens holds back the tears as it hits her...

Prima Donna Surgeon Can’t be Bothered to Dress Self

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AUGUSTA, GA – Saying they are “sick and tired” of waiting on surgeons hand and foot (mostly hands), operating room nurses at nearby Mercy...
Tom Price

Tom Price to Stabilize ACA Marketplaces with Intramedullary Nails

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WASHINGTON, D.C. - Secretary of Health & Human Services and former orthopedic surgeon Tom Price has suggested that the best way to stabilize Affordable...
Maria Sharapova shriek

Sharapova Returns with Shriek So Strong Her Own Ear Bleeds

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FLUSHING, NY - In the fourth game of the third set, Sharapova unleashed a powerful forehand winner with a shriek so piercing it caused...

Nadal Calls Medical Timeout After Limbs Fall Off During Epic Rally

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FLUSHING, NY - No. 1 seed Rafael Nadal cruised to victory in his opening match against Dujan Lajovic despite calling a brief medical timeout...