Which Is It, Post-Op Day #0 or Hospital Day #1? Medical Numbers Convention Kicks...
CHICAGO, IL – In an effort to standardize inconsistencies that have confused health care workers for years, the first-ever Convention on Medical Numbering Conventions convened in Chicago last week. Convention organizers were thrilled to...
Medical Student Graduates Still Unsure of How a Period Works, Exactly
Dan Honsfeld has officially received his Doctor of Medicine this spring without ever fully grasping the concept of womanly bleeding as part of the menstrual cycle. "I understand the rise and fall of estrogen...
Standardized Patient Suing Medical School After No One Detected Prostate Cancer
TAMPA BAY, FL - 56-year-old Michael Finnerly has been volunteering his services to the local medical school's standardized patient program for several years. Last week he was diagnosed with prostate cancer when he visited his local physician for a...
Local Organic Mom Pleased to Have All Natural, Antibiotic-Susceptibility-Free Infection
SAN FRANCISCO, CA - Local organic mom, Fern Meadow, is pleased that her life-threatening leg infection is pandrug-resistant.
“When I spiked a fever and saw red streaks going up my leg I didn’t want to go...
Hospital Adds Sugar Cubes to Diabetic Diets, Patient Satisfaction Higher Than A1Cs
KEARNEY, NE - Whether due to a prank, sloppy oversight, or disgruntled kitchen workers’ act of spite, but loads of sugar cubes appeared on diabetic trays at Kearney Local Medical Center (KLMC) this morning....
Overnight News: Nation Has 107 Point Average Rise in Blood Sugars After Halloween
WASHINGTON, D.C. - The Surgeon General, Dr. Vivek Murthy, reported that the nation’s average blood glucose level rose over 107 points per human last night during Halloween as 1.8 trillion tons of candy were...
NFL Players Now Expected to Wash Hands Before, After Each Play
NEW YORK, NY - Keeping his promise to "Play Safe, Play Smart" and uphold player safety, National Football League (NFL) Commissioner Roger Goodell has implemented a new policy whereby NFL players are expected to...
AMA Holds Funeral Service for Physical Exam
The American Medical Association held a large funeral service today in honor of the Physical Exam, which passed away earlier this month after a decade-long battle with obscurity. The funeral was well attended by...
Surgeon Drops Pen, Chart, Falls Off Chair, Then Spends Rest of Appointment Convincing Patient...
MEMPHIS, TN – Dr. Slater had a series of unfortunate events Thursday. While he was sitting on a circular roller chair, Dr. Slater started his history questionnaire. He typically crosses his legs with his...
Resident Appreciation Lunch Just Leftover Cafeteria Food
Tampa, FL - Calling the event "Historic", and "The first of its kind", Hospital CEO Dale Gerald posed for cameras as he scooped hot mashed potatoes onto the plates of hungry Residents. The resident...
